5.2.09

Accountable Cuisine - The Blog!

This is the first post, in what will hopefully be a long line of posts! This is about my journey to become a healthy, whole person.

And this is about a girl who loves food!

I love food!

The complicating factor in this, however, is that I'm a recovering food addict. I am a binge eater. This is as terrible and deadly an addiction as alcoholism or drug addiction, and can be even more frustrating, because food is something you need for life. It is so hard to distinguish between hunger from actual hunger, and hunger from emotional need. Sometimes, the deep, gnawing feeling in your gut is too much to ignore; sometimes you don't even realize that you've just eaten more than you thought you physically could, and you wake up to realize that you hate yourself even more than you did a few minutes ago.

But there is a way through addiction. It has been many months since I've binged. I'm learning new coping skills, learning more about myself. I feel proud to call myself a recovering binge eater! I will always have this addiction, but with constant vigilence and self-love, I can live a life out from the constant shadow of it.

And so now, I'm learning about myself as a person not living every day with addiction.

I have discovered that, apart from being an addict, I really enjoy food. I love cooking. I love discovering new recipes! I love playing around with ingredients, healthy or not. And I learned that, frankly, healthy cooking is a wonderful new adventure!

This is my journey from food addict to food lover, whole person, and healthy woman.

3 comments:

Ninnn said...

Hi Chantel,

I came over here from the 200+ board. Your writing is great and I hope you continue to post....I love reading blogs! I feel like we a lot in common. I am also a recovering binge eater, been okay for several months. I had an episode last night as I posted on the boards but one slip up is okay. How did you overcome binging?

Chantel said...

Part of it is a lot of therapy, honestly... I see two therapists, one who specializes in eating disorders, and I go to group therapy every 2 weeks. Also, I think a lot of it was coming to terms with the fact that I do, infact, have an addiction! An addiction is always an addiction, and so I'll always have to be careful...

Good for you for recognizing that you're a binge eater... And also, good for you for being kind to yourself about a slipup... If you spend all your energy in self-loathing, you haven't got any energy left for changing!

Amber - on a human journey said...

I'm sooo proud of you for all that you're doing. I identify with much of what you're saying and believe deep in my heart that being so honest and transparent about it definitely helps in the process of healing. You are such an inspiration to me. I will be following your blog regularly, I guarantee it! :)