Weigh-In, March 30, 2009

Ahhhh, I love mondays.

Just when I had resigned myself to being happy for losing 1-2 lbs a week, I have a week like this:

Loss this week:
6 lbs

Total loss:
44 lbs

That brings my weight from 451 lbs at the begining to 407 lbs now! And I only have 1.1 lbs left to lose before I make it to my first 10%!!!!!

Also, my BMI has now dropped 7 pts, which I think is fantastic! I still have 22 pts to go before I move into the simply "Obese" category, every step takes me closer!


Ah, swimmingly... March 25, 2009

I love aquafit and aquajogging... They're so wonderfully liberating!

But this isn't so much about the swimming as it is about... Ice cream!

At the games centre, there are a multitude of vending machines... Pop, juice, chips, healthy snacks.. And Ice cream! I adore ice cream... It is one of the nicest foods out there! And after swimming, I always look at the ice cream vending machine, thinking of how wonderful it would be to have a cool, sweet, yummy ice cream bar... I generally don't have any cash on me, and the thought of having to pay the high fee always puts me off of getting cash from the atm there.

Tonight, I made sure I had 5$ in my pocket, aside from the usual quarters for the locker. I had that cash there for the specific purpose of buying an ice cream after swimming...

But when I went to the vending machines, I looked at the ice cream, and the thought of not being able to check out the nutritional information before I bought made me really question buying it. I went back and forth, back and forth...

And then I bought orange juice!



Walkity-Walk-Walk - March 23, 2009

So, I went to the walking track today with my mum, and I did...

11 laps! (My previous best was 9 laps!!)


3/4 of one of those laps was JOGGING!!!

11 x 215m = 2.365 km!!

215 x 3/4 = 161.25m of jogging!

I'm working my way up to 1 full lap of straight jogging. Today, when I was finishing my 10th lap, I decided I'd jog the last 1/4 lap, which is equal to the most jogging I've done since.... Grade 8? I was sitting, recouping, talking to my mom about wanting to build up to a full lap, and I decided that the next time, I'd try for a half lap. And then... I decided that I would get up and do that half lap THIS time! So I did the half lap, barely made it, but I DID!

After I rested, I finished the lap... My feet are SO sore now, but in that good, I just kicked my own butt kinda way!!!


As this blog IS about food... March 22, 2009

I've become known for cakes. At work, in my family - I'm the one to turn to if you want a cake. The last time this came up, on my grandma's birthday, it was a bit of a dilemna... Do I make a WW cake, when most of the people there aren't on it? No, that wouldn't be appropriate. So I guess I'll be making a regular cake, with regular frosting... But what do I do with those batter covered beaters?!

I managed to resist pretty well. It helped that chocolate cake is my husbands FAVORITE FOOD EVER!!! Especially as we were asked to take home the leftovers...

It's a german chocolate cake, crumb coated with homemade orange buttercream, then covered in fondant and decorated with buttercream from a mix... Pretty much everyone just ate the cake and orange buttercream... The fondant LOOKS pretty, but It doesn't TASTE so good... Plus, to get that saturated pink colour, I used a lot of food colouring, and anything red related tends to turn out bitter...


Weigh-In - March 16, 2009

For the first time this go around, and I think for the first time ever, my Weigh-In was a...


Stay the Same.

I have to admit, I AM disappointed. When I saw it, things started running through my mind:

-I didn't walk as much as I wanted to.
-Did I not track things correctly?
-I didn't THINK that I ate a bunch of salt yesterday...
-Maybe I'm not eating enough fibre!
-Am I getting complacent?

It was all very troubling, but only for a minute, when I took control of myself! So I didn't lose any weight! I didn't gain any, and I know that I did a good job this past week.
So I didn't walk as many times as I wanted to! When I DID walk, I pushed myself, and went further than I had before. And I still earned 19 AP this week, with all the aquafit and swimming I did!
Did I track things correctly? Maybe not, but I still ate well, and I tried my very best to track every bite. That's good enough for me!

Am I getting complacent?


Am I getting complacent?

The answer to that is a resounding NO! Certainly, I could stand to push the f/v a little more, but I track what I put in my mouth, and I've been moving more than I ever have in my LIFE! I stay away from most unhealthy foods, and I continue to keep my blood sugar under control. I feel healthy, and strong, and successful, even if I didn't lose a bunch of weight this week! I don't need to make excuses, blame the dissapointment on something else. And I don't need to beat myself up! I didn't gain any weight, and that is still success!


Personal NSV (Non-Scale Victory) - March 12, 2009

As some of you may or may not know, I've been in therapy since the end of January, 2008... I actually have been seeing 2 different therapists, as well as I've been seeing a psychiatrist (re meds), and in group therapy.

The first psychologist I starting seeing was just for general depression/coping skills issues. It was my start to recovering from Binge Eating, but the therapist at Mental Health who specialized in eating disorders had a full docket at the time, so I started seeing her.

And yesterday, I graduated. We both came to the conclusion that I don't NEED her anymore! I have a strong base, now, and self-esteem! I know my triggers, and know how to deal with challenges. I can look at situations, both internal and external, objectively, and decide what I want to do with them!

It was such an amazing step, being able to tell my therapist that I didn't think I needed her anymore! And having her agree!!

It was really interesting to talk to her yesterday... She said that she had been hesistant to take me on, because she'd never had a patient with an eating disorder before, and wasn't sure whether or not she could help me. Before she would commit to being my therapist, she spoke to the eating-disorder specialist at Mental Health, who said to do what she normally does, and it would help me, even if it wasn't dealing specifically with my eating disorder.

I can no longer remember the last time I binged, but I know it was about a year ago. I no longer need food for comfort. I can enjoy food for what it is, and not use it as a crutch.

I am enough in and of myself.


These boots were made for walking! - March 9, 2009

Yay for walking!!

I never used to want to move. Even when I'd decided to exercise, I'd use ANY excuse to avoid it. And now, even when people aren't able to join me, even if I'm not feeling 100%, I would still rather get my butt in gear than let myself stagnate...

Tonight I did 9 laps around the track. 9 x 215m = 1.935km!!

It's pretty fantastic, being me!

Weigh-In - March 9, 2009

Well, after last week's un-blogged 1 lb loss, I was a bit convinced that my weight loss had slowed down, which I was expecting (although not hoping for!). I was okay with it. I've been getting more active, swimming, walking... If I lose 1-2 lbs a week, I'm okay with that.

So, yeah...

I'm down 6 more lbs this week! (Hee hee) That brings my total to 36 lbs in 8 weeks. I started at 451, and I'm now down to 415 lbs! I've basically just reversed the last two digits! :D

Also, my pants are beginning to look a bit clownish (too big, lol) in the thighs...


Some ruminations

I've been thinking a lot lately (so THAT'S what that burning smell was!), and it's recently come to me that I'm nearing my 8 week mark of WW... The significance of that is that the very first time I did WW, going to the meetings in Burnaby, I quit at about the 8 week mark. I just couldn't plan, eat right, anymore. That was the longest, best go I'd had up until this point, and I know that at this point, I was suffering. I could barely make it through a day, and I don't think I was OP anymore, but I hadn't officially quit.

This time around, I'm really, really enjoying myself. I'm eating healthy, filling foods, whole foods, instead of junk food. And if I want a treat (for example, the cherry strudel I had yesterday), I can have it and not feel guilty. Plus, I'm getting active! I earned more AP yesterday than I ever had earned in an entire WEEK previously!

Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that losing weight could feel so good! And sometimes, I still struggle with not buying the chocolate bar, making supper instead of getting a big mac, not ordering the fat-loaded meals at restaurants. I think that the knowing that I COULD do all of those makes it easier, but knowing that I SHOULDN'T makes me want to! And sometimes, the get-up-and-go to exercise is elusive, and I have to force myself to move...

But this feels like a lifetime decision this time.

And I'm certainly not suffering!


Whoda thunk?! - March 4th, 2009

I went swimmin' again today, and it was WONDERFUL! A friend of mine came with me, and we had a great time... We swam for a bit first, then we did aquajogging (btw, big floaty belts = hilarious humiliation for big lady!), and then we steam roomed, and hot tubbed... It was a wonderful, tiring, relaxing, leg-jello-ifying time!

It's hard to believe that I, me, big flobby girl, spent 80 minutes exercising today!!! Where did THAT come from?! And I can really feel my arms and legs are going to be a bit stiff tomorrow, but in a good way!

Here's to hoping that not only does this lead to more weight loss, but also improved health overall...

And then I got to come home to Atreides, who was adorable and cuddly and head-bumping me to let me know she missed me. (And now, she's sitting on my magazine... Thanks kitten!)


Not weight-loss related, but... , March 3rd, 2009

Just because I'm proud of what I've done :D


I didn't know I could move! - March 2nd, 2009

Yesterday, I had an 'exercising' day... I had committed to go swimming with a friend Sunday evening, and had committed to a walk on Sunday morning, so I knew I'd be doing lots of moving!

Hubbins and I went walking early in the afternoon (weekend morning?! What's that?), and, while I normally take the elevator up, I opted to walk up the stairs this time. And then part way through the second lap, there was a pretty decently paced song playing on the speakers, and it made me feel like speeding up... I was already walking at a pretty decent pace, so before I knew it, I was jogging! Actually JOGGING! Granted, I could only do a quarter lap, but it was something I didn't think I could physically do!!

After the extra bits of exercise I'd gotten, I only ended up walking for 5 laps, but that was okay. I'm really proud of myself!

As Sunday evening got nearer and nearer, I got more and more nervous... I hadn't been swimming for nearly a decade, and I wondered (feared) if I'd make an idiot of myself... I had been quite a bit lighter the last time as well... Also, going out in a BATHING SUIT?! Was I crazy?!

But once I got in the water, I remembered how much I loved it! Madeleine and I did a 50 minute Aquafit class, which was GREAT fun, and a pretty decent workout... I actually found myself sweating a couple of times! Then afterwards, we kept swimming... I still remembered how to do the strokes, but I felt it a LOT. I could do one pool length, and that knocked me out. Still, I managed to do a few laps. When I wasn't actively swimming, I kept myself moving!

I've committed to 2 swims per week: Wednesdays for Aquajogging, and Sundays for Aquafit.

I can hardly wait!

(BTW, WI today! Stay Tuned!)