I can't believe it!! This is my 101st post!!! I don't think I've ever made it past... 10? Lol!
So, I went to see my AMAZING psychologist this morning. I was really lucky - she had a cancellation, and I was able to get in to see her really soon.
Yeah, I'm doing SO much better!! I was holding all this resentment, and anger, and heartbreak, and she helped me realize that almost NONE of what I was feeling had anything to do with Chris or Jack. This was just a trigger that brought old wounds fresh to the forefront, my feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness and not feeling loved.
The great thing about that?
I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT!!!!
I have been neglecting to take the time, lately, to bolster my self-esteem. I haven't been making sure that I have what I need to be healthy, emotionally.
I got cocky!
Alberta (my therapist) told me that it's actually really common for this to happen to people who've worked through a lot of depression, and are seeing the other side. I'm not an emotional superwoman, but the fact that I was able to recognize the truth of the matter when she brought it forward REALLY shows how far I've come!
I know that I'll still have some sadness about giving up Jack. That is totally natural. But the anguish I was feeling, after only having him a couple of weeks, was totally irrational!
The car won't run smoothly if you don't give it tune-ups. It won't run without gas. It won't run without oil...
Thanks so much to EVERYone who has been so amazing to me lately!! I have really appreciated the wonderful support you've provided to me, and I'm so grateful for all of you!