4.6.09

101 posts!!! ~June 4th, 2009

I can't believe it!! This is my 101st post!!! I don't think I've ever made it past... 10? Lol!

So, I went to see my AMAZING psychologist this morning. I was really lucky - she had a cancellation, and I was able to get in to see her really soon.

Yeah, I'm doing SO much better!! I was holding all this resentment, and anger, and heartbreak, and she helped me realize that almost NONE of what I was feeling had anything to do with Chris or Jack. This was just a trigger that brought old wounds fresh to the forefront, my feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness and not feeling loved.

The great thing about that?

I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT!!!!

*Happy dance*

I have been neglecting to take the time, lately, to bolster my self-esteem. I haven't been making sure that I have what I need to be healthy, emotionally.

I got cocky!

Alberta (my therapist) told me that it's actually really common for this to happen to people who've worked through a lot of depression, and are seeing the other side. I'm not an emotional superwoman, but the fact that I was able to recognize the truth of the matter when she brought it forward REALLY shows how far I've come!

I know that I'll still have some sadness about giving up Jack. That is totally natural. But the anguish I was feeling, after only having him a couple of weeks, was totally irrational!

The car won't run smoothly if you don't give it tune-ups. It won't run without gas. It won't run without oil...

Thanks so much to EVERYone who has been so amazing to me lately!! I have really appreciated the wonderful support you've provided to me, and I'm so grateful for all of you!

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