For a friend...

To Commemorate a New Beginning

And to Celebrate a Rebirth

July 31st, 2009

Always remember that you are an amazing woman, full of strength and beauty, grace and compassion. You are one of the most beautiful souls I've ever met, and I am behind you 100%. The coming days, months, and years may be hard, but I believe that the result will be worth every tear and scraped knee.

As you leave some of the old behind, remember to take with you all the things that have made you YOU, and leave the things that have brought you down.

I love you, dearly, and am proud to be your friend while you make your way through.

Here's to you, dear friend, and everything you are, and are becoming.


Clouds? Where ARE you?!

Alright, it's summer time. I'm enjoying that it's summer time. I'm enjoying that we're getting sun, and everyone gets to be outside, but honestly....

Could it be just a little cooler?!

We've been having temperatures in the low 30's this week (That's celsius, for you old-school folks), and I'm just dyyyyyyyyyying!

Fine, so I'm exagerating a wee bit. But not a lot!! It's hot carrying around 214 lbs of extra fat and insulation, so the hot weather really wears on me. Combined with heat-induced water retention, and I'm pretty sore.

It's also made cooking and food prep a challenge! We're trying to be frugal, because we've got some bigger expenses coming up (including one that we shouldn't have to be paying, dammit!!) and want to save some money too, so we're trying to make larger meals that we can stretch, but who wants to heat up the oven when it's 30+ degrees?! Heck, who wants to do anything buy lounge around and eat ice cream?! :p

Tomorrow is WI day, and I really have no idea how it's going to go... I might be retaining a million lbs of water, or I might have flushed it all out (entirely possible) and be down, or I might stay the same? Who knows!!

I have to say, after 6 months of WW, while I'm happy and going to keep going, I'm starting to have a harder time feeling all dynamic and positive and such about this... I guess it's become routine, and it's not so exciting anymore, and I could really use some of that old excitement back.


A cooking challenge for the PriorFatGirl

Alright Jen, you want to try someone else's recipe? Well, here's one that I've been eating for the last few weeks... You might have seen the pictures...

I challenge you to make your own - HOMEMADE PASTA!!!

Okay, breathe... Breathe!! It's not hard, I promise!

From Foodnetwork.com (A recipe by Alton Brown, who is a hunk, erm, good cook)

Fresh Pasta:

  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 large eggs
  • 3 tablespoons water
  • 1 teaspoon olive oil
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • By Hand: On a clean surface make a well with the flour. In a measuring cup mix the eggs, water and oil and salt. Pour the wet mixture slowly into the flour and mix with your 2 fingers until all of the wet is incorporated. Do not force the dough to take all of the flour. If you are going to use a pasta machine to roll out the dough you may at this point form the dough into a disk and cover with plastic wrap. Place in the refrigerator for 1 hour to rest. If you going to roll this by hand you should knead the dough on a floured work surface for 8 to 10 minutes.

By Food Processor:

  • In the bowl of your food processor combine the flour and salt and pulse 2 to 3 times. In a liquid measuring cup whisk the eggs, water and oil. While pulsing the machine pour this mixture in a continuous stream and continue running the machine until the dough begins to pull away from the sides of the bowl. Follow directions above for hand rolling or machine.
  • Yield: 4 to 6 servings
  • Preparation time: 5 minutes
  • Cooking time: 3 to 5 minutes in boiling water
  • Ease of Preparation: easy

I love making it in the food processor, because it's SO easy, and you don't get egg all over your counter... And you could probably rope in Carlos to do the kneading if you were going to do the hand-rolled one.

Today, we made 3 recipes worth of dough, that we're going to roll out and cut, and dry a bit, and then freeze for easy peasy meal prep. That's the other great thing - each recipe makes 4-6 servings (4 servings = 5 pts per serving, and SO much food!!), and you can put the other (uncooked) servings in the fridge for a week, or in the freezer for 2 months!! And if you serve this to guests, I promise you'll impress them!

My favorite way of serving? A little olive oil, and some parmesan cheese and freshly ground pepper.

So, Jen, are you up for the challenge?

Learning to eat real food!!

Jen, over at PriorFatGirl (great blog, folks!) recently posted about learning to cook, and admitted to using pre-packaged food a lot in her weight loss. I think that learning to eat REAL food is such a great step to take, and huge step towards a sustainable weight loss and lifestyle!

So, because of that (and because this earns me an entry in her contest, heehee), I'm posting a link to that blog entry!!


Pics, as promised.

Back on Plan ~ July 27, 2009

Where has July gone?! It seems like just yesterday, we were celebrating Canada day, and now we're on the final week!

Well, I'm back on plan, for real. (Fo realz...) That doesn't mean that I'm necessarily eating as healthily as I should be, but I'm sticking to my points allowance, and I'm trying to eat more fruits and veggies, but I made cheesecake the day before I went back OP, and while we were all good-intentioned and meant to freeze it, instead we've been nibbling our way through it. Luckily, with 43 daily points, I've had the points available to spend 9 a day on cheesecake. :D

Saturday night, we had a really wonderful, delicious delicious supper... I took pictures, and I'll post them when I get them off the camera, but I'm going to tell you about it first!

At the farmers' market (every thursday) there is a seller than makes goat cheese, and so every week, I talk about going to the farmers market and picking up goat cheese, and then getting beets, and roasting them... And it never happens. Because I'm lazy/busy.

But this week, I decided to make it happen. So thursday, we went to the farmers' market and picked up some chevre, and then over to the fruit and veggie stand where we picked up some organic golden beets. Then that night, I put the beets in to roast (425 degrees, rub in a little olive oil, roast for 45 min - 1 hr), and while they were roasting, DH made homemade pasta... Then they came out, and I let them cool for a couple minutes... I didn't know it was so easy to peel roasted beets! Just run over the skin with a knife, and it peels right off... Nice! Then cut them into sliced, with some chevre and a little olive oil, with the homemade pasta with olive oil and parmesan...

Man alive, it was SO good... And SOO filling!

Will post pics!


I've found my biggest motivation... I want to have kids. I want to have kids badly enough that I keep considering being irresponsible and starting to try now, when it would be really dangerous for me physically. Last night, we were watching a movie, so I was already sniffly, when a VERY pregnant lady walked past our house, and I just started crying and crying...

But the best thing I can do, both for myself and for my future kids, is to get healthy first. So I'm trying to keep my longing under control while I work hard at getting healthy...



Do you hear that? That is the sound of me KICKING MY BUTT for letting my eating slide!

Camping eating is one thing - I feel like I'm allowed to take a vacation then, but yesterday and today, I wasn't on vacation! I was just eating badly!!

And that is stopping here, darnit!!

Track it, and move on!

*nod nod*


A couple of pics

Didn't I mention....?

That I was going on vacation? :p

Anywho, I'm back. A day early, actually... It was smoky where we were staying, so we thought we'd drive part of the way back today... And then when it came time to stop, we didn't really feel like setting up camp for one night, so we just drove a few more hours to home. :)

I didn't have internet access or tv or anything the whole time! I mean, I barely had CELL PHONE service - only when we were actually IN Dawson City (or Carmacks) did my phone say anything but "Searching" and "Power Save Mode"...

I'm pretty sure I've gained a few pounds ("What do you MEAN, ice cream isn't a vegetable! I've been LIED to!!") and a little sunburn/tan, and a few more hours of driving practice (7 hrs 15 min)...

I now know how to change a tire (or how to help, anyway), what washing your hair in a FREEZING cold river (and dunking your head) feels like, how to drive on a gravel road, and that shirtless sunbathing (I didn't say topless, just shirtless) is rather nice :p

Also, poutine made with cheddar cheese isn't really very good.

There will be some pictures, though not of me... Maybe a pic of me driving, but most of the pictures were of the scenery.

Anywho, more posting later. It's 12:30 am (nearly) and I've been up since 8am, and I'm a bit bushed.

I love you peebles!


Um, so yeah... ~July 10, 2009

So, I lost 2.2 lbs, bringing my total to 86/100.

That means that in 6 months, I've lost 86 lbs. (Sunday is my 6 month WW anniversary)



Gearing up for a gain ~July 9th, 2009

Tomorrow is WI day, and based on what I saw on the scales today, I'm looking at a gain of a few pounds. And you know what?

That's totally alright!

I'm on my last day of my WW week, and I currently have 21 flex points, and 16 activity points sitting in my reserve. Yesterday, I finished the day with 6 daily points left over.

My weight gain is caused by undereating, and also by the heat: When it's warm, I retain water. I AM chugging back, but I knew this would probably happen. I've had this issue since I was a teenager. I'm lucky, though, that it's a few pounds, and not 20, right? :)

I can't believe, though, how un-hungry I've been lately, in the evenings! Usually I could just eat and eat and eat, and lately? Naaaah... This isn't the first time in the last couple of weeks that I've gone to bed with a surplus - most days, I'm left with 1-2 points left over, and last week, I had one day that I didn't eat 7 points! Eating all my points has NEVER been a problem for me before!

It's funny how counter-intuitive this is, eh? How eating less can actually HURT your chances of losing the weight? The world keeps telling us that the less you eat, the more you'll lose, but it's totally not the case! Ideally, I should be eating my FP and at least half my AP too, but this week, I just can't. Next week shouldn't be so hard, though, with a couple of camping trips in there.

All of this makes me feel so good about myself though... I'm looking at a gain this week, and I'm completely not disappointed in myself! I don't feel like I need to be giving it more of myself, because I'm not failing. I'm not floundering, and I'm not second guessing myself, even though this morning I saw a number in the low 370's instead of the mid-to-high 360's. I'm not sad, or depressed...

I'm constantly amazed by my new outlook on things. Just like when I actually think about it, I'm constantly astounded that I'm an actual adult, or that I'm MARRIED (to someone so wonderful), I'm surprised and delighted that I'm in a good emotional place.


Thanks, but... No thanks! ~July 7, 2009

So, I'm not going to go for the surgery.

I'm not going to go for the info session.

I know that I don't need it, and I don't need (as my doctor suggested) to go and compare myself to the other big people, see where I am compared to them. Not in a cruel way, of course, but to help myself make the decision...

I don't need the help. I know myself.

I love myself, darnit, stomach intact, and not restricted by a plastic ring pumped full of saline...

I know I'd love myself even if I got the surgery, but I'd be disappointed with myself... I know I'm strong enough, both physically and emotionally, to do this on my own. Also, I'd be postponing someone else's chance at getting the help they NEED...

So, I just wanted to let you all know that... Shall we toast with watermelon and delicious, delicious frozen yogurt?

Laziness has its benefits... ~July 8, 2009

Okay, my body isn't USED to pushing itself. Even with the Yoga and the swimming, that was stuff that I could walk away from and maybe be a little sore, but it was quick recovery...

But seam-sealing the tent? A whole different issue...

That means a long while bending, stretching, squatting, reaching, arms up, arms down...

And I'm paying for that!

My thigh muscles are completely tightened up, to the point that it's seizing up the backs of my knees when I walk...

It's a good pain, in a way. It means that I was able to push myself, to keep going, to do more than I was used to... But it's still annoying!


Whole Foods Week Re-Cap~July 6th, 2009

Well, yesterday was the closing day of the Whole Foods week challenge, and I have to say, I enjoyed it. It was tougher than I thought it'd be, and Saturday wasn't really super whole-foodsy, but I learned something:

This is a lifestyle I'd like to work on carrying on.

Of course, I'm saying this as I'm eating no-sugar-added chocolate pudding, and sandwiches with Nutella. And I had a Tim Horton's Egg salad sandwich for breakfast.

With my current lifestyle, I won't be able to be completely whole-foods, but I can certainly make some changes towards MOSTLY whole foods. In the interests of economy, I've decided that we'll finish the open containers of stuff (nutella, for example), but not buy more. I have a second, unopened jar of nutella that I'm going to donate to the foodbank, along with some other items... Lucky family that gets that, eh?

But also, this made me realize that I REALLY need to start including more veggies in my diet... Even on Whole Foods week, I still wasn't ingesting enough vegetable matter most of the time, unless I made a concerted effort.

The other thing that this challenge brought to the forefront: My husband is an AMAZING man. He is so supportive and creative and hard-working... He shared a LOT of the work with me, and made sure that I kept moving in the right direction. He wants to make healthy choices, I think, even more than I do! ("What do you mean, an Ice Cream from McDonald's isn't a whole food?!") I'm so glad the stars aligned to get us together!!

I really do feel like cutting out the extra salt and preservatives is a super worthwhile thing to do, though...

Also, homemade pasta is absolutely delicious! I would suggest EVERYone try it!!

Could it POSSIBLY be?!

That I listed some stuff in my Etsy shop?!

No, no... It's impossible!!

Or.... IS IT?


Totally thrown for a loop...

Everything was progressing lovely today... I was all thrilled for it being Friday, and work was nice and slow, and it was sunny at lunch so we laid out on a blanket in the park, and then it was raining on the way home and it was fun watching and listening to the rain pounding on the windshield and we bought a bunch of veggies for the weekend...

And then we checked the mail on the way home...

And it put me back a year and a half.

And now my brain is a bit off-kilter...

A year and a half ago, my doctor and I put in a referral to capitol health in Edmonton, to look at bariatric surgery for me. I chose Alberta over BC because they funded some lap-band surgeries, and the prospect of going through life (and pregnancy) nutrient deficient because of a roux-en-y bypass was very scary...

And today, I got a letter from them with instructions on the steps that I needed to take... It looks like I was next on the list to go through the processing...

And Holy Crap!

I mean, it's been so long... I hadn't FORGOTTEN, but I certainly wasn't actively remembering this. For the first year, I thought about it really frequently, but as I got back into WW, got emotionally sound, worked on exercise and eating right and living my life, I put the whole 'bariatric surgery' thing to the back of my mind, and didn't really consider it anymore.

Certainly if it were me, today, I wouldn't put in the application. I wouldn't even THINK of it...

But year-and-a-half-ago me did the work, and getting the letter made me think really hard about it.

Should I go through with the group session and the consultation with the surgeon? Should I see what they say?! I'm sure the doctor wouldn't authorize surgery if he thought I didn't need it anymore...

I'm almost more... curious about it than anything else. What's it like, going through this process? What would they say? Would they praise my hard work, and send me on my way? Or would they see something in me that makes them doubt that I could keep going, and recommend that I do the surgery, to help me along?

If I were struggling with WW, if I couldn't portion control, I would go for this.

But I'm not struggling.


My brain is a bit... numb, but going in a million different directions, all at the same time. I know that makes no sense...

I needed to blog this thing out... I'm so... blown away! Knock-me-down-with-a-feather and all that!

I have an appointment with my family doctor on Monday, and while it has nothing to do with this, I figure I can ask him what he thinks. It's not the same doctor that put through the referral, because that one moved back to Ontario, but I really trust and respect this doctor, and his opinions and advice.

Suddenly, something that was an hour ago such a clear choice is muddied, and I don't know why, because I KNOW what I want my decision to me, but I... don't...

Oh Blogland people, I'm so thrown!

A post just for the sake of posting...

Also because I'm a bit peckish, atm, and I'm distracting myself from the melba toast in my desk drawer.

It's hard to believe that in 9 days, I will have been at this for 6 whole months!! My most successful previous attempt was my first, which lasted 8 weeks, and was total hell.

This time?

Not hell!

Not really all that bad, honestly!

And I've come from:

to this:

Which kind of rocks.

Also, apparently I'm a big fan of keeping my hands near my pockets! :D



Why does Lean Cuisine feel the need to put "Chicken flavour" (which contains dehydrated chicken stock and, um, chicken powder) on their chicken breast?

And modified milk ingredients?

And what is that mysterious "Flavour" listed after Chicken Powder?!



Mmmmmm, pasta!

So, whole foods week here on the farm! And today's supper waaaaas...

Homemade pasta!

And it was SOOOO yummy!!

We ate it with olive oil, and parmesan, and freshly ground pepper, and it was MARVELOUS! And super chewy and filling!

The recipe we made was done mostly in the food processor, and then we rolled out and rolled up the pasta, sliced it, and cooked it...

I used regular all-purpose flour this time, because I wanted to be on the safe side. Next time, maybe half and half with whole wheat flour?


Happy Canada Day!

Alright, so speaking of Narcissism, I commented on Priorfatgirl's latest post, and then I re-read my comment, and realized that I really liked what I said there, so I'm going to post it here...

"The problem is that eating is a wonderful, social, pleasurable, sensual experience that is essential to the human condition. We celebrate with food. We console with food. We meet and greet with food. We love with food.

And we can't lose that, just because we're prior- or to-be-prior-fatgirls... We just need to pay more attention to how much, while still being real people..."

And I think that's true... We can't just NOT eat real food, because we have a pack of thinsations waiting at home. We can't completely kill this human instinct to surround our occasions with nibbles and feasts...

Anywho, I got on the scale today, for the first time in 1 1/2 weeks.... I was very afraid that I'd see a number in the 380's again, because of my yummy, wild weekend...

So I got on the scale, and saw... 368.1? YAY!!

Which then means... That I'm down a daily point! I now eat 43 points a day instead of 44!! I'm not worried about going down one point, although I still wonder what it'll be like when I have fewer than 30 points per day...

As for the whole foods week, we're still on track! Supper last night was delicious teriyaki glazed chicken drumsticks. I made the teriyaki glaze myself! I got a non-caramel-colour-including soy sauce (the naturally brewed kind) and made my glaze with that, and brown sugar, and mirin, and ginger, and garlic, and a little cornstarch to thicken it... Throw that on the BBQ, and it was SO good!!

We had the chicken with rice (a mixture with wild in it too), and more corn on the cob. Corn on the cob is quickly becoming one of my favorite foods, and get this... I've been eating it WITHOUT BUTTER!

I'm thinking I'll make pancakes for breakfast today... And then we've rented a couple of movies, so I'll probably make popcorn on the side... Real popcorn, that DOESN'T come in a baggie to put in the nuker! :p

Hope everyone else is having a GREAT Canada Day!!