Dear future Child or Children...

I can hardly wait to meet you - I love you so much already, and all I want to do is be your Mommy.

But I hope you understand why I'm waiting.

I want to be the very BEST Mommy to you that I can possibly be, and right now, I'm not there yet. I want you to have a Mommy who can give you everything you need, and some of the things you want. I want you to have a Mommy who can take you outside and play soccer, and build snowmen, and run after you at the park. I want you to have a Mommy who can teach you how to swim, and how to ride a bike. I want you to have a Mommy who can teach you to be healthy, and happy.

And most of all, I don't want you to have to deal with having a Mommy who is too tired to play with you all the time. Who cries all the time. Who gets out of breath climbing the stairs. I don't ever want you to get teased because your Mommy is so fat, and can never do anything with you. I don't ever want to hold you back because I am so unhealthy.

I wish, all the time, that I was ready for you now. I feel like part of me is missing, and I know that part is you. I see other people have children, and it makes my heart ache to bring you into the world. I want to be selfish, and see you sooner, but I know that waiting for you a little while longer will be good for me, and will make your life SO many times better than it would be right now.

Whenever I feel this way, I will look at this letter, and remember that, because I'm waiting, you will be healthier, and happier, and have a better chance at the wonderful life you deserve.

You deserve the world, my very beloved child/ren.

More love than you can imagine,



Syl said...

when this child comes along it will be very blessed.

This is the most selfless thing you can do Chantel...wow!

WonderWoman said...

You are a smart girl...you are going to be a great mom someday.

It is so hard, I know, because I am doing the same thing.

Counting Girl said...

That was really beautiful Chantel. You are going to make an awesome mom!

what-e-ver said...

That was so beautiful you brought tears to my eyes... you'll be a great mom, whenever that comes to happen.

Amber Samaya said...

I am crying reading this (at work). You are already an amazing mother. Your children are going to be so loved and well taken care of. They are going to read this one day and be so proud and thankful to have you.