Shrinking in the Not-Quite-So-North, by Canadian Dot

I'm over the whole PMS thing.

2012-01-10T00:05:00.000-08:00

Eat all the things?

As long as it's chocolate!!

Some coke zero please?

DID YOU SAY NO?!?!?!?

I DON'T THINK SO!!!!

Yeah, I'm feeling very Hulk Smash at the moment. I am a Red Tide of destruction. I am the antithesis of all the happy ladies on the feminine hygiene commercials. I am grumpy and sore and grumpy. And there has been something stabbing me in the general area of my uterus all day.

And I'm not even supposed to HAVE my period!!!

Stress from starting the second semester? Losing weight and eating healthy aging?

I just hope that Aunt Flo doesn't stick around long.

Dear Art History Class...

2012-01-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

I feel I owe you an apology. You were pretty great today. You were interesting, sometimes funny, informative...

I'm sorry that I was so tired Thursday, and that coloured my view of you for the worse. Also, your unfortunate location in relation to the class before you.

I hope you accept my deepest and most sincere apologies, Art History class. Let's be friends, shall we?

Dear humiliation...

2012-01-09T10:11:00.000-08:00

Or, should I say, dear Art History class...

I don't like you.

I'm sure it's not your fault. You're a perfectly harmless class. The teacher seems like a perfectly harmless professor. The room is a perfectly decent, airless classroom. It's not your fault that I thought that you would be more fascinating than harmless...

And it's certainly NOT your fault that you're 10 minutes after my previous class, and halfway across campus... And uphill.

And that I'm so, so fat.

And that I end up huffing and puffing the entire way up...

And that people end up looking at me...

*sigh....*

Lazy Sunday

2012-01-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

Ahh, lazy Sundays.

Lazy, crampy Sundays.

Stupid uturus, craving chocolate and ice cream and making my back spasm!!

Luckily for me, I can plan out my points for dairy queen, AND, by joining the Blizzard Fan Club, I was able to get a Buy-One-Get-One-Free coupon! Noms AND savings!

Tomorrow is my busy day at school - 4 classes in one day, 8:30am - 6pm. I was thinking of going to movie night for my philosophy class, but if I'm still all crampy and arghy tomorrow, I think I'll head home and watch Project Runway All-Stars instead.

Discussion in the GDT about whether it's easier to lose 100 lbs or 30 lbs... I have to say, at my weight, dieting really isn't that hard. I mean, it's not as easy as eating fast food and junk food every day, but it's not torture. I'm not getting hunger pains. I'm not feeling like I'm making huge sacrifices. I still have to eat quite a bit of food every day; I have so many points that when I really eat healthy, sometimes it's hard to eat them all.

But it's such a long, long slog. What it lacks in immediate hardship it makes up for in the stretching out of time before me. When I think of how LONG I'm going to need to be dieting for... It makes me want to quit RIGHT NOW. I mean, I've been dieting on and off since the beginning of 2009 - The whole of 2009, and then half-assed attempts since then. That's 3 years of 27... 1/9th of my life. And where am I?

Nearly back at the beginning.

Is that good news for me? No, not really. Does it really look like I'm actually going to make it?

No, not really.

Am I going to keep trying...?

...

...

Blah. I guess so. I can't have my weight keep going up, at any rate.

I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl. I don't want to always be the fat girl.

How long has it been?!

2012-01-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

My goodness, it's been a good many months since I've posted here! The last time I posted here, I'd only just been accepted to UVic!

I'm now at the beginning of my second semester!!!

Which, of course, means I moved to Victoria.

So here I am, in school, living in a new city... And ever so fat! At the beginning of the first semester, I dieted briefly. I ate 1200-1500 calories a day, and felt horribly sick. And then for the rest of the semester, and all through Christmas break, I ate fast food, junk food... I gained weight like CRAZY. I can't actually weigh myself right now, which I'm disappointed about.

So now I'm back on plan. I know a lot of long time dieters have gone off of weight watchers with the new points-plus changes, but I'm happy to stick with good old points tracking. I just find it easier, more convenient... Especially now that I can track on my phone or iPad on the go.

On top of that, Chris and I are coming to terms with the reality that we just can't spend like we used to. We're down to one income... Our fixed expenses are less, but our variable expenses have to less too. The funny thing is, it's actually cheaper down here to eat healthily than to eat fast food! What luck!!

So here I am, signing off... I'll try to post more frequently - Tell you how I'm doing in school, how the dieting is going, etc etc. Good luck to me!

Did I mention...

2011-05-06T12:46:00.000-07:00

Did I mention that I'd applied for uVic a couple of months ago?

No?

Well then I definitely didn't mention that I got accepted!! I will be starting the Bachelor of Fine Arts in Visual Arts program at the University of Victoria this fall!!!

Just sayin'. Not that I'm excited or anything.

Speaking of medications!

2011-05-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this while sedated a bit, so please bear with me...

Or Bare with me? Heehee!

I just wanted to talk about one strange side effect of one of my new meds: I can no longer taste carbonation on my tongue! Seriously! I've tried!!

I LOVE me some Coke Zero. It is my favorite beverage of ALL TIME! Give me a ice cold can of coke zero, covered in condensation, and the crack as it opens, and oh yeah... Cold and bubbly and refreshing.

Oh yeah, bay-bee... Come to Mama!

Make that Cold and Dead and Lifeless now. It's like Zombie Coke. It's cold, sure, but not AS cold. And I can feel the fizz, but not until it hits the back of my mouth, which is just strange. And without that carbonation, the flavour is just sad, sad, sad.

My dentist, of course, will be thrilled. And probably also my stomach lining. I've now been reduced to drinking fruit juice, milk, and the most dreaded of all beverages... WATER!!

Oh, Screw you water. What have you ever done for me besides everything?! Huh?! NOTHING!

I really never thought I'd see a day where Pop wasn't my first choice of beverage, but the day has come. And since one of the other side effects of the medications is dry mouth, I'm drinking a lot of water.

So if you'll excuse me, I need to pee.

Is that a smile I see?!

2011-05-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

I'm actually feeling really, really happy.

Where the heck did THAT come from?!

Those who know me know that I suffer from depression, as well as some mild to moderate generalized anxiety disorder. Also some agoraphobia.

2010, and especially the beginning of 2011, was a huge challenge for me - My tolerance for my medications built, and built, and built... I went from being on a small dose of one anti-depressant in 2009 (My banner, 100 lb loss year) to now being on 2 anti-depressants (In much larger doses) and an anti-convulsant and beta-blocker for my anxiety.

And you know what? Lately, I've been happy and relaxed! Enough so that I've been back on plan, eating loads of healthy veggies...

As of yesterday, I could see the number on the scale again, instead of just ERR, and today, I was 4.3 lbs lower than yesterday. Fluke? Maybe. But it was nice to be able to SEE it!

I hope everyone out there is feeling content, peaceful, and happy. Also, I hope you're all getting the same gorgeous blue skies that we've got up here in the Yukon!!

Quinoa for breakfast?!

2011-04-28T00:28:00.000-07:00

Brainwave - Quinoa isn't just for savory meals anymore!

From Wikipedia, source of all knowledge:

Quinoa ( /ˈkiːnwɑː/ or /kɪˈnoʊ.ə/, Spanish: quinua, from Quechua: kinwa), a species of goosefoot (Chenopodium), is a grain-like crop grown primarily for its edible seeds. It is a pseudocereal rather than a true cereal, or grain, as it is not a member of the grass family. As a chenopod, quinoa is closely related to species such as beets, spinach, and tumbleweeds.

.... okay. Mmmmmm, tumbleweed!

I was on the WW boards, checking out a post from someone trying to figure out WHAT to eat! She'd been naturopath-ed, and therefore was cut off from most of what normal people call food - gluten, dairy, sugar, a bunch of fruits, blah blah blah. The list was about 20 items long! She had a small list of the things she COULD eat, and going through it, I thought:

What if you made Quinoa with COCONUT MILK?!

Well, of course, it's hard to be original in this day and age. I did some googling, and came upon this site - And this is my variation of their recipe.

Quinoa Porridge with Coconut Milk

Serves 4

- 1 cup Quinoa, rinsed
- 1 cup water
- 3/4 cup coconut milk
- 3/4 cup 1% milk
- Pinch of salt
- 2 Tbsp Maple Syrup
- 1/2 cup sultana raisins
- 1 medium mango, roughly diced
- Cinnamon to taste

Combine rinsed quinoa, water, salt, coconut milk and 1% milk in a medium pot and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. As soon as it reaches a boil, turn the heat down to low and simmer with pot lid on but ajar for 15-20 minutes, or until desired consistancy is reached. Take the mixture off the heat and add in the maple syrup, raisins, mango and cinnamon, and stir to combine. Let sit covered for 5 minutes.

Eat!

(If you want yours a little creamier, you could add in more liquid when you take it off the heat, but for a breakfast, I like mine a little firmer.)

This breakfast is great for the vegetarian in your life too, or you could even do this with soy or almond milk replacing the dairy milk and you would have a vegan meal FULL of protein! And the beautiful thing is that Quinoa is actually a complete protein, giving you all those amino acids you need!

What's my favorite thing about quinoa though? The way that, when it is cooked, the germ of the quinoa twists away from the main grain bit, and makes a little tail. It's pretty adorable, really!

April 28, 2011 -

Ate some last night for a late dessert. Actually REALLY tasty! It smelled a little bit starchy, but it was nice - Not too sweet, a little bit rich... It doesn't necessarily TASTE like coconut, but I could tell that there was a creaminess there that wouldn't have happened with just dairy milk. I'll definitely be making this again, trying different fruits, maybe more spices... Plus, the way it made me feel was a very GOOD kind of full.

It's a bet.

2011-04-27T11:39:00.000-07:00

So, as you might be able to tell, based on the sporadic posts in the last year or so, I have had NUMEROUS false starts getting back on this whole diet thing. Really, it's not my fault that food tastes even better when you're depressed and hobbly!!

So last night in bed, the Hubbins and I were discussing this, and I asked him to place bets - How long do you think I'll stick to the diet thing this time?

A day?

A week?

A Month?

Until we move?

Until school gets in?

Until Christmas?

Chris decided on two weeks. I would last LESS than two weeks back on WW. I think that for a challenge, he's setting the bar a little low, but I'm always glad to have something pushing me. I love proving people wrong!

(Incrementing might be a word if you're a programmer, but it DOESN'T COME UP at Dictionary.com Chris. Therefore it's NOT a real word!)

So, if it's going to be a bet, there must be TERMS, right? What will I have to give, if I don't make it to two weeks. Here's a hint to all my GDT friends - It's not a steak, but it goes hand in hand!

But if I MAKE IT, I get a pre-planned weekend breakfast in bed, healthy and yummy and delivered to meeeee!!! Is that worth a couple of weeks of tracking for? I think so!

And a Special SHOUT OUT to K! I found something for your to share with your boss!!!

It's a post...

2011-04-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

And that must mean that I'm back on plan again.

This time, I'm going to STICK to it, darnit!

Honest!

Really!!

Scallop stir-fry for supper tonight. Was going to be shrimp, but small frozen scallops were on sale. I figure that with the sauce and such, it probably won't make a huge difference.

And soon, I am going to be experimenting with some kind of quinoa/coconut milk breakfast porridge something-or-other... Stay tuned!

Happy WI!

2010-09-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

Firstly... TGIF!

I have had one helluva long week, and the frustrations were definitely added to by the lovely...

SNOW!

the last couple of days.

This is a view of what was happening downtown today, in Whitehorse. It's only September 23rd!!! What the &^*%?!?!

Edit: Okay, apparently it's connected to the live webcam... When I grabbed the pic, it was daytime, and very snowy...

Ooh... Deep, calming breaths...

Anywho, the REAL reason I'm posting...

I'm taking a slightly different approach to the tracking thing... Every weekday, I will be perfectly on my daily points. And then on the weekends, I will still eat reasonably, but I won't be tracking. We'll see how this ends up working, and if it doesn't, I'll be happy to go back on the plan as it's meant to be.

But week 1 of this plan?

DOWN 5 LBS!!!

I'm now down to 371.7 lbs, which means I'm 79.3 lbs lost from where I started out. Only 20.7 lbs to go until 100 lbs again!!!

I hope everyone is feeling as well today as I am. :D

Man, I LOVE Fridays!!

2010-09-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

Yay for WI day!

I know I won't be saying that every week, but I plan on basking today!

I'm down another 4.5 lbs this week, bringing my 2 week total to 8.3 lbs lost!

I'm really proud of myself right now. I've had a SUPER stressful week at work, and the old me would combat the stress with food. Now, I'm working hard, and working through the stress, gettin' it done.

My knee is healing nicely, I think. It's WAY more stable than before, although still pretty sore in a couple of places. I'm going to have a couple of little scars, but at least they didn't have to open it up! I'd love to be able to get back into yoga soon, which I've missed.

Onwards and Downwards!

It's good to be back!

2010-09-03T09:10:00.000-07:00

Let's just cut to the chase:

Down 3.8 lbs in 4 days. Yay!

And now that I'm onto a full week, I can finally use my weekly points!

It was so good to see the number on the scale. It's good to be heading down again.

Still on!

2010-09-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

And I'm feeling good!

I've now made cupcakes TWICE this week, and I'm still on plan.

I even made Rainbow Chard yesterday, which was delicious! And GORGEOUS stuff!!

I always forget how good HEALTHY food is. (Okay, granted, there may have been some pancetta involved, but the chard was delicious too!!)

Also, I forgot how much I love blogging. Hopefully, I'll really get back into the swing of things, and post something interesting, or thought provoking, or hilarious.

But for now:

Thar's a raspberry in that thar cupcake!

One quick note.

2010-08-31T14:40:00.001-07:00

Just something I want to say...

ARGH!!!

ALL THE PANTS THAT USED TO LOOK GOOD MAKE ME LOOK LIKE AN UNKEMPT FAT PERSON WHOSE CLOTHES ARE TOO TIGHT!!! :(

You can tell I'm back on a diet when...

2010-08-31T12:18:00.000-07:00

- My snacks start being fruits and veggies.

- When I have a timbit instead of a donut.

- When I start stocking up on Granola bars and Tuna salad with crackers things at work, just in case.

- When disposable water bottles start stacking up on my desk.

- When I'm calculating the points for a mini-cupcake (What? I had some left over! 4 for 1, 6 for 2.)

- When I start thinking about how much cheese I'm actually eating in a serving.

Starting again. Again. :)

2010-08-30T22:56:00.000-07:00

Annnnnnnnnnd... Once again, I'm tracking.

I gained about 30 lbs in the last 9 months. CRAZY things!

But I'm back on. My goal atm is to be under 350 lbs again by the end of the year.

My knee is still pretty sore, but feeling more stable, which is nice!

And that is the end of this short, dry post. ♥

Needed to vent...

2010-08-24T15:55:00.000-07:00

Firstly... Hi there!

Secondly... My knee seems to be healing up well... I'm looking forward to getting back on track in the next couple of weeks. I might not be able to do much more than walk, but I'm going to do what I can!

Thirdly... I'm having a bit of a "I hate people" day. I think that the subject of "Fat people on airplanes" should never be brought up. Ever.

WE'RE ALL UNCOMFORTABLE, PEOPLE! Airplanes are designed to pack as MANY people in per square foot as possible.

Yeah, I'm sorry that I'm fat. I'm working on that, but I can't lose all the fat in 10 minutes. Or 10 days. Not even 10 months. Yup, come back to me after a year of weight loss, and I'll STILL be overweight.

F*** You for deciding that your rights are more important than mine. I still have every right to fly, and no, I can't afford a second ticket. Live with it.

God, I hope you never have any problems that inconvenience other people, really.

*grump grump grump*

/vent

Where have you been, Chantel?!

2010-08-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

Where have I been? Mostly in the same place, on my duff. Not dieting.

Losing my ability to do much exercise has REALLY thrown me for a weight loss loop. As in... Looping back up. I loved belly-dancing. I loved Yoga.

I have been SO frustrated with my knee.

So, what made me think that I should come back to my blog?

Tomorrow, I'm having KNEE SURGERY!! So far, it's going to be just a minor stuff - taking out some torn cartilege and possibly mending my torn meniscus, but they're also going to look at whether or not I need an ACL reconstruction.

I hope this works, people.

Yesterday,

2010-04-28T08:53:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I stood up for myself.

It was hard, but I did it.

I was assertive, and I was strong. I wasn't rude or aggressive, but instead firm.

Standing up for myself is one of the hardest things for me to do. I am so proud of myself right now!

The midnight blues

2010-04-26T00:10:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have one of those nights where you are totally EXHAUSTED, but you just don't want to fall asleep?

I don't want Monday to come. I mean, I know it is, infact, already Monday... But if I don't fall asleep, I have HOURS until it really shows up. But if I'm out... It's just the blink of an eye.

Goodbye...

2010-04-23T17:13:00.001-07:00

Goodbye, 4.9 more lbs! I won't miss you ONE bit!

Happy Friday!

2010-04-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

I know, it's not actually Friday. But for ME it is!!

It couldn't come at a more welcome time!

I had another panic attack today. I was terrified, beyond what was reasonable. And it was EXHAUSTING. I'm trying to make an appointment with my psychiatrist to look at some short-term medication aides for my panic attacks. Still not eating my way through this, though!! On-Plan!!

I'm VERY much looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. And to WI.

A&W for lunch today, so that DH and I could sit in the car, in the sunshine. 1/3 of a medium fries, and a Mama burger, hold the mayo. Fantastic!!

I'm looking forward to having my evenings free again, because I'd love to be able to get out and go for a walk. The weather has been for the most part, very nice here! Sunshine. Light, fluffy clouds. Dry and clear. I walked to Tim Hortons today, and I really enjoyed getting out there, putting on my iPod, and walking.

Kame-Sama... It's not a tattoo of a cucumber, silly!! http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5568902&l=233b31d063&id=685870742

Post #250

2010-04-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

For my GDT Lay-deeeeez!!

250 posts?! Really?!

Wow!!

I'd like to thank the academy, my mother, God, my husband, mah Peeps...

I find it kind of amazing that people read this thing. I get some amazing feedback, here, and some wonderful ideas and support.

I've lost some weight (just a little, right?) and gained back a few pounds. I'm working on continuing to lose weight.

I've laughed.

I've cried.

I've gotten a tattoo.

I've whined.

I've exulted.

I've gone on and on about Mental Health Awareness.

And you folks are still here.

Thank you so much!

Onwards and Downwards!!!

It looks like rain.

2010-04-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

It's a grey day here, so rare in Whitehorse! It looks like rain, and it feels like rain but, by golly, it just doesn't SMELL like rain! You know, that fresh, moist smell that lets you know that the world is about to get scrubbed clean? I love that smell, and I was so excited to go outside for lunch, and... And... NOTHING?!

My Vancouverite husband agrees that the smell isn't there. He doubts that the rain will show up, although I'm hoping that it's just the wind blowing away the humidity.

I'm feeling on the low end today... Reading Toni and Amber's blogs make me MISS them!!! I'm feeling lonely, and the endometriosis pain is sucking the life out of me. This is the kind of feeling that is HARD to not eat my way through.

Would ice cream make me feel better?

("IS THAT A TRICK QUESTION?!" screams my pain. "OF COURSE IT WOULD!!")

No. Shut up.

What about chips?

("Seriously, here. That's practically medicinal." lectures my cravings.)

No. Shut up.

Ah, well. Making chocolate chip cookies tonight (for a friend, and to bring to work tomorrow - Administrative Professionals' Day!

Mental health is hard work.

2010-04-19T12:46:00.000-07:00

Just like physical health, keeping yourself in psychological fitness is challenging for some people... And I am definitely one of those people.

Recently, an incident occured at work which has caused me a great deal of distress. Crying, panic attack... The whole shebang. I ended up needing to go home early on Thursday, and nearly didn't go in on Friday either. Friday morning, I woke up and I knew that if I didn't go in to work, the issue would appear to be my Mental Illness, and in this situation, it really isn't.

But I'm still very affected.

That is why, on Friday, I made an appointment for today with my Psychologist. I knew that this was something that, while I COULD probably deal with it on my own, I would be FAR better off seeing a professional. For a tune-up, I guess.

That got me thinking... I realize, a dangerous exercise!

Why does therapy seem so... Taboo? Why does it still seem like a last resort for so many people? And, (and I know you knew I was getting around to this!) why does it seem like people just don't SEE the connection between Mental Health and Physical Health?

When I get to my goal weight, and have maintained it for a couple of years, I would like to start... I don't know. Advocating for Mental Health in connection to weight loss. Telling people that sometimes the first step to getting physically healthy isn't changing the way you eat, or getting in more exercise, but learning coping skills and self-esteem. The physical changes can only last so long if they're set onto a shifting base.

I know that it's possible that I may sound like a broken record, and I'm okay with that. This is something I believe in strongly, and I will keep saying it.

And now, I'm off for my tune-up.

One other noteworthy thing...

2010-04-16T18:16:00.000-07:00

Some of you know what I've been dealing with the last couple of days, and some of you don't, but I have to say...

I stood up for myself today. I didn't allow myself to back down and give up.

I am hugely, hugely proud of myself.

First WI back on track!

2010-04-16T14:57:00.000-07:00

Hello, weight loss! I love you!

All 5.6 lbs of you!!

Which is pretty great, as I managed to lose this, despite a very tiring week, and a VERY stressful yesterday.

I only used about 10 of my FP for this week. I just wasn't HUNGRY for more! I know that I'll use more this week, as I'm having people over tonight and eating pizza and cake. But that's allowed!! How great is that, hey?

So I'm back in the 350's, albeit barely... (359.9), but I'll take it!!

Layout Changes...

2010-04-14T14:50:00.001-07:00

I may be making a few design changes in the next few days... Please, bear with me!

And I would love to hear your opinions on the new look!

I need to remember this, for the future...

2010-04-12T20:54:00.000-07:00

Every time I go off plan, I eat food. Lots of food.

Lots of unhealthy food.

And then I wonder why I feel grotesque, and always hungry.

These last few days, I've been satisfied, and feeling healthy... And what have I been putting in my body?! Good, nourishing, healthy food!

DH's homemade tortillas

With onions and peppers, and steak... It's in there somewhere!

See!!

Wait... How'd THIS get there?

Tonight's supper was homemade whole-wheat pasta with tomato-veggie sauce, and a little aged cheddar. SO good, so nourishing!

Honestly, when I'm really eating healthy, my daily points are almost more than enough for me! It's so crazy... Eat 5000 calories a day worth of junk/high-fat food, feel sluggish and gross and always feel hungry. Eat my daily points worth of healthy food, feel good, feel full.

My new favorite snack...

2010-04-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

Ahh, the sun is shining, the sky is clear, and I feel fabulous. I keep forgetting how good it feels, physically, to be on plan and eating healthy.

Sure, eating high-fat, high-sodium, high-everything foods TASTES great, but then you just end up feeling like you've got nothing actually powering your body!

I think I've found my new favorite snack... Apples and Natural Peanut Butter!!

I use the PC brand natural peanut butter for this, and it actually drizzles a lot more easily cold than normal peanut butter. PLUS, all it is is peanuts, which I adore!

If anyone here reads my baking blog, http://dotbakes.blogspot.com, check it out later today for Madeleines... I made them in the small molds, and, guess what! 1 cookie = 0 pts! And you can have 4 for only 1.5 pts!

Now that's a diet I can do!

Good News and Bad News...

2010-04-09T07:52:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start with the bad news first, because it is SO bad...

365.5 lbs

Yup, that's right. Ouch.

But, onwards and downwards.

And for the good news... Last night at the opening of the show, there was a LOT of food in the change rooms. Chocolate, Candy, Chips....

There was an entire TRIFLE dish full of jellybeans and Caramilk eggs and Smarties and chocolate-covered almonds...

And then afterwards, to celebrate the opening of the show, there was champagne, a REALLY nice cheese tray, sausage, donuts, swiss rolls, mini quiches...

What did I have? (And this is ALL evening)

1 small glass of Champagne

3 Strawberries

2 Baby Carrots

1 Shrimp from a shrimp ring, no sauce

No chocolate, no candy, no nothing. I am SO proud of myself!!

MRI Results...

2010-04-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

So, yeah. I'll be taking it easy for a little while. :-)

I've got a torn meniscus, and a mostly ruptured ACL...

I'm actually not feeling down about this, though. It doesn't CHANGE anything for me, although it reinforces that I made the right decision taking out the yoga and belly-dancing as they're very twisty activities...

For Toni... Suppertime!

2010-04-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

Roasted Elk, Black Quinoa and Salad

On Track(ing)!

2010-04-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

One day at a time...

I tracked everything yesterday! I ended up using two of my weekly points (Had a cooler after the show), but I feel really good about it all! I know I burned some calories doing the musical, but I'm not going to count them. I don't think it's enough 'exercise' to put it into the points counter. Hopefully, it'll make for a pleasant end-of-the-week, though.

I still need to drink more water... I'll be filling up the bottle as soon as I'm done writing this!

Blargh blargh blargh

2010-04-06T15:52:00.000-07:00

This is hard, dammit.

I got an e-mail from an old acquaintance today, saying that she had read my blog... And I said that I was struggling, and that was why I hadn't blogged in a while.

Do you guys want to hear about my being human? About the not-so-inspirational stuff? About me having a hard time tracking beyond a couple of days in a row? About the disgust I saw when looking at a recent picture of myself (albeit in a not-very-flattering outfit)?

I want to do WELL at this, for eff's sake! I want to be HEALTHY!

On a side note, I should have the results of my MRI by the end of the week...

Ugh...

2010-03-19T07:36:00.001-07:00

355.6 lbs

*sigh*

So MAD at myself!

2010-03-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

~rant~
I'm so MAD at myself for letting myself slide so long! How much weight could I have lost in 3 months, huh?

Why did I forget that hunger isn't an emergency?! I'm allowed to feel hungry! I'm allowed to let myself feel that, and wait.

I will GET UNDER 300 LBS! I'm not going to kill myself like this!

~/rant~

1 day on plan

2010-03-03T08:50:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it through yesterday, tracking everything! I was actually under my daily points by 3.5, but I figure that I've been over enough lately that I didn't need to push too hard.

AND I'm tracking today too... I've already put in my meals, and have 13 points besides that!

One note of sadness, though... When I lived in the lower mainland, I LOVED Red Robin... I'm signed up for their "Birthday Burger" program. 1 week before your birthday, they send you a coupon for a free burger... Today, I got the coupon.

I miss Red Robin, darnit!

Back on Plan... Kind of

2010-03-02T08:55:00.000-08:00

Well, I had the best of intentions for yesterday, and we know what that means...

I stopped tracking at about 3pm. *facepalm*

But, I'm trying again today. I'm feeling a lot better, emotionally and physically today, so I'm hoping that'll lead to better outcomes.

sigh

2010-02-28T21:07:00.001-08:00

Back to reality tomorrow...

Meal planning.

Points counting.

Not NEARLY so much pastry-making.

That reminds me... I need to Points out the homemade marshmallows!

Weird "Anonymous" Comments

2010-02-21T23:30:00.001-08:00

Is anyone else getting these strange, bot-sounding "Anonymous" comments?

Or is it just me that attracts those people/bots?

Day 22...

2010-02-19T09:01:00.000-08:00

Oh Sweet Jesus...

Chocolate again!

I made it three weeks, which, in Chocolate Time is about a lifetime.

I made it!!

And now, I can have chocolate again.

Happy Friday!!

Blog writing = Kick in the butt

2010-02-17T07:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, writing my issues in my blog, putting it out there for people to read, is enough to give me a kick in the butt.

I wrote that I knew what I was supposed to be doing, and then I thought: Wait. Why AM I not doing it?!

Even if I go over my points, I can still track. And when I track, I'm WAY less likely to go over my points.

All this to say that, since my previous blog post, I've been tracking again.

(PS. Two more sleeps until I can eat chocolate again! I'm going to make it!!!!)

(PPS. I don't count the rebellious sip of DH's mocha I had, because coffee is vile, and I couldn't taste any chocolate and it was icky.)

Day 18, no chocolate

2010-02-15T12:56:00.000-08:00

I just about quit for Valentine's Day... I *REALLY* wanted to make something chocolatey!!

Instead, I made Macarons!! And they were SO good, but no chocolate at all!!

I'm having such a hard time tracking, though... It's really frustrating! I *KNOW* what I should be doing... So why am I not doing it?!

Meh.

Day 15 without chocolate...

2010-02-12T10:33:00.000-08:00

That's right! I'm on my LAST WEEK of no chocolate!

I think I might actually do this!

ME, who has, for many years eaten chocolate pretty well every day, and often multiple times a day.

YAY!

Edit: Today I had a sugar cookie... The icing was plain vanilla, but there was chocolate frosting used for lettering. I scraped off the chocolate frosting, and DIDN'T EVEN LICK MY FINGERS!!!

Why am I so comfortable here?

2010-02-11T09:13:00.000-08:00

350 lbs. That's an awful lot of weight. If a normal adult gained weight from a healthy weight to 350 lbs, their bodies would be SUFFERING!

So, why do I feel so comfortable here?

For the last couple of months, I've been gaining and losing the same 5-7 lbs. I go up, I go down. I go up a couple, I go down a couple.

It's frustrating, but at the same time, it's kind of comforting. I *KNOW* this weight! I was this weight for a long time - Throughout a lot of my adolescence... I have no idea what it's like to be healthy. To me, this is pretty darn close...

My head knows that I'd feel better lighter. My knee *CERTAINLY* knows that I'd feel better lighter, even if the problem is an injury and not just weight related.

So why am I so comfortable here? Why am I not fighting HARDER?

Honestly, losing the first 100 lbs wasn't as hard as this - This trying to push past the barrier and keep GOING!

It's hard to admit that I'm struggling. It's hard to admit it to my blog people - you amazing, supporting, wonderful people. I've barely even talked about it with Chris, who is my biggest cheerleader and supporter and inspiration and love. I don't even know how much I've admitted to myself until recently.

Maybe I'm waiting for it to *FEEL* right again. That feeling that I had at the very beginning of this go-around - That easy, healthy, doing-something-good feeling. This isn't easy anymore. It isn't even medium.

This is a struggle now. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but it has.

By the way...

2010-02-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

So, just a little side note...

I might not have gotten a role in the Musical, but I did get cast in the Choral Group.

Without even needing a call-back!

Baking is a team sport!

2010-02-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

My dream is to start a bakery/café... And I think the best way to plan for that (what do you mean, small business classes?! Psh!) is to bake.

A lot.

Would anyone like to come up north, so that I can bake for them? :-D

Scones, homemade marshmallows, macarons, cookies, cakes... Maybe do high tea?

Chocolate-Free challenge - Day 10

2010-02-07T17:16:00.000-08:00

I'm nearly half-way through my no-chocolate challenge, and every day, I think about quitting. How sad is that?!

Maybe I picked the wrong time of year for this? Every time I walk into a store, the first thing I see is chocolate. That's not even as a result of my fixating because I miss it so much! Currently, chocolate is EVERYwhere! All in brightly coloured packaging, designed to look as appealing as possible.

The coffee shops and bakeries are pulling out all the chocolate-stops, with cookies, bars, mousses, truffles...

And there I am... Lonely, chocolate-free me.

I could use a big, steaming mug of real, homemade, high-quality hot chocolate right now... Or those adorable little chocolate cookies I made this time last year...

Part of me feels five years old again, stomping my feet and moaning about how UNFAIR it is that I have to do this.

But I'm CHOOSING to do this. It's not a must-do. I could stop any time I choose.

Is this the right choice? Was 3 weeks of no chocolate too ambitious? I'm starting to think that maybe it is. Maybe that's just the cravings talking.

Meh.

2010-02-04T08:47:00.001-08:00

Someone is in the doghouse today.

And it's not the cat.

>:(

ZZZzzz.......

2010-02-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

So cute, but so LOUD!!

I haven't slept more than about 4 hours a night for the past several nights...

Our kitten... Has entered a new stage of development, let's say. One where she sticks her bum in the air when petted, and yowls all the time.

All the time.

11pm.

1am

1:30am

2:40am

4am

5am

6:30am

We've got an appt with the vet, but it can't come soon enough...

Tonight I will be trying earplugs.

I never knew anything so tiny could be so loud...

I've actually been thinking about getting a hotel room for a night, just to get a full night's sleep. And as my lovely husband appears perfectly capable of sleeping through the night through the yowling, I wouldn't be taking HIM along!

I love my kitten, right?

Looks like a no go...

2010-01-31T21:21:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't heard back from the audition people. Looks like I'm not going to be a staaaaah!

And you know what?

I'm so at peace with that! I'm totally okay with not being chosen!

And the weird thing is that, unlike how I used to be, I'm *NOT JUST SAYING THIS*!!

I went and did something that scared me. I think I did a good job!! There were other super talented women auditioning - people with a lot more experience, and who are better at this. I'm okay with not being chosen.

This is such a wonderful feeling, being OKAY with not being the best! Not being the one that was on top!

And now, I'm going to go and make ginger cookies, because they are delicious. :-D

Day 3, and all is well.

2010-01-31T10:19:00.000-08:00

I've actually been having a harder time using all my points the last two days! My week changes over on Friday, so I have all my flex points for the weekend, and normally I'm through about half of them by Sunday morning. Not this week! I haven't TOUCHED them yet! In fact, Friday I was under by 4 points, and yesterday, I was under by half a point!

Crazy stuff I tell you.

I was walking (limping) through Shopper's Drug Mart yesterday, and I saw all the Valentine's chocolates there... I was so happy, looking at them, thinking of buying something yummy... And then my heart sank a little bit, remembering that I was taking a break from Chocolate. All those heart shaped boxes, valentines themed Toblerones, bags of Cadbury eggs in pink and red...

Not this year.

Ah well...

Last night, I had 16 points left after supper. I was a little shocked when I realized that, and I figured that I would get myself a treat. Or two.

Ice cream!

Do you know how few yummy Ice Cream options there are out there without chocolate?! Very few. "I've never counted Oreos as chocolate!" Chris piped in. There may have been a very stern look sent his way.

I settled on Pralines and Cream, and it was delicious.

I've been told that 3 weeks is probably too ambitious. 3 weeks is too long for ME to go without chocolate. That's the point! If I can't do something ambitious, then what's the point of doing it at all?! It doesn't prove ANYthing to me!

I will do this!

I haven't yet decided if "Epicurious" is going to be an exception... It might be. We bought tickets a few weeks ago, and it's our reward for having dealt with our horrible neighbour for so long, and WINNING, dammit! Massimo Capra is going to be there!! I'm really, really excited about it, and I'm trying to save lots of my FP for it!

Re-reading this, it's a very long, bloggy, disjointed post! But, I'm going to leave it JUST as it is.

This is me not puking...

2010-01-29T18:40:00.000-08:00

I can do this without puking! I can do this without puking!

Day 1...

2010-01-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

... and my resolve is weakening.

Today is day 1 without chocolate... My life has become a bleak wasteland, a colourless desert of dessertlessness...

It is 9:26am.

But seriously, folks... So far, so good. I finished off last night with Kisses and Hugs of the Hershey variety, and went to sleep. I hardly ever eat chocolate this early in the morning... I find I'm missing it MORE than usual though. Probably because I know I CAN'T HAVE IT, and that drives me a bit crazy.

I think part of the craziness is nerves. I'm auditioning tonight for a Musical, and this will be my first audition ever. Unless you count Canadian Idol. Which I hope you don't.

(I was young and stupid. Erm. Younger and Stupider.)

So for today, my mantra is: "You can do this without puking. You can do this without puking."

Gosh, I could really use some chocolate right now...

*sigh*

Chocolate.

2010-01-27T14:50:00.000-08:00

As you can tell, I love chocolate. Love love love love love. Dark, milk, white... Dipped, plain, liquid... Filled with ganache, or nuts, or caramel... Flavoured with mint, orange, ANYthing.

Anything from a cheap "chocolate" from the dollar store to high-end, melt-in-your-mouth truffles.

Chocolate makes me happy.

So why am I giving it up?!

That's right, I am going to do a 3 week NO CHOCOLATE CHALLENGE!!

Chocolate and I have an unhealthy relationship. I can't resist it; it follows me around, clinging to my hips and thighs. I realize that SOME chocolate is fine, but I have been eating FAR TOO MUCH of that luscious stuff. And while searching for my seemingly walkabout willpower, I realized -

I need to be the MASTER of the chocolate cravings.

So, starting Friday, January 29th, I will not eat ANY CHOCOLATE until Friday, February 19th, which is the day I go on staycation.

"But wait!" you say. "That's over... VALENTINE'S DAY!!!"

Yuuuuuup! I will not eat ANY chocolate for Valentine's day. I don't need chocolate to know I'm in love. I don't need chocolate to have a lovely time.

(Gah! What have I gotten myself into?! Wish me luck!!!)

Dear...

2010-01-25T15:52:00.000-08:00

Dear future Child or Children...

I can hardly wait to meet you - I love you so much already, and all I want to do is be your Mommy.

But I hope you understand why I'm waiting.

I want to be the very BEST Mommy to you that I can possibly be, and right now, I'm not there yet. I want you to have a Mommy who can give you everything you need, and some of the things you want. I want you to have a Mommy who can take you outside and play soccer, and build snowmen, and run after you at the park. I want you to have a Mommy who can teach you how to swim, and how to ride a bike. I want you to have a Mommy who can teach you to be healthy, and happy.

And most of all, I don't want you to have to deal with having a Mommy who is too tired to play with you all the time. Who cries all the time. Who gets out of breath climbing the stairs. I don't ever want you to get teased because your Mommy is so fat, and can never do anything with you. I don't ever want to hold you back because I am so unhealthy.

I wish, all the time, that I was ready for you now. I feel like part of me is missing, and I know that part is you. I see other people have children, and it makes my heart ache to bring you into the world. I want to be selfish, and see you sooner, but I know that waiting for you a little while longer will be good for me, and will make your life SO many times better than it would be right now.

Whenever I feel this way, I will look at this letter, and remember that, because I'm waiting, you will be healthier, and happier, and have a better chance at the wonderful life you deserve.

You deserve the world, my very beloved child/ren.

More love than you can imagine,

Mommy

I REALLY love Dinner Parties!

2010-01-24T22:26:00.000-08:00

Dinner went wonderfully!

Annika's curd was delicious! Conversation was easy, and there was lots of laughter.

I'm so happy right now... It's lovely. I totally didn't take pictures of the food, but it was lovely!

Oh, and the chicken ended up being thyme roasted, instead of rosemary orange.

I love dinner parties!!

2010-01-24T13:19:00.000-08:00

Even when I'm the one hosting them, lol!!

Tonight, there will be 5 people eating supper at my place... Those of you who know me know how challenging it is for me, making friends. The fact that 3 of the people eating at my house tonight don't actually HAVE to be there is pretty amazing to me.

The menu?

Homemade pasta with olive oil and fresh parmesan
Spinach salad with apple, raisins, and maple-pecans
Orange-rosemary chicken

And then for dessert, Pavlova. There are meringue shells in the oven atm, and Annika will be making up a curd to go on top.

I'm actually remarkably un-stressed, too! My lovely husband is making fresh pasta right now, so it only takes about 5 minutes to cook at supper time. The chicken should be quick to pan-sear and then just plunk in the oven with a probe thermometer. Salad is not exactly challenging to make.

Full report to follow. :D

What're you looking at?!

2010-01-22T09:02:00.000-08:00

Potato Gnocchi...

2010-01-18T21:22:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that *I* am a kitchen Goddess?

Today, I made potato gnocchi. This came out of my love of kitchen gadgetry... Last week, I bought a gnocchi rolling board (It was 3$!!) because I thought it was lovely, and cute.

Kitchenware is my weakness...

So because of the 3$ gnocchi roller, today I went and bought myself a 45$ potato ricer, so my gnocchi didn't get 'stodgy'...

Did you know that peeling and ricing 'fresh from a 400 degree oven' potatos is a little burny on your fingers? All in the name of un-stodginess, I tell you!!

I'll give you the recipe at the end of this, but first... a few more pictures!

Yummmmmy!! I had to add more flour a couple of times, because the tests I did were a little too light and fluffy - So fluffy they were kind of falling apart.

BTW, for me, the recipe makes 6 servings... I was going to do 4 servings, but when I saw how much dough the recipe made, I knew that there would be more than enough for 6.

I paired the gnocchi with a super simple tomato sauce - 1 can of Hunt's No Salt Added tomato sauce, 1 tbsp sugar, 1 tbsp olive oil, garlic, basil, oregano and sage. I sauteed the garlic and spices in the olive oil until fragrant, and then added the tomato sauce and sugar, and let it simmer on low until the gnocchi were done.

Perfect Potato Gnocchi

Prep Time:: 45 min
Cook Time:: 1 hr 2 min

Serves:: 4 to 6 servings (4 servings at 6 points each, 6 servings at 4 points each)

Ingredients

2 pounds (about 4) baking potatoes, like russets
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 egg white
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

Directions

Pierce the potatoes several times so that moisture can escape during baking. Bake the potatoes in a preheated 400 degrees F oven for 1 hour until fork tender. Peel the potatoes while they are still hot and press them through a potato ricer. Put the potatoes in a large bowl with salt, baking powder, and egg white. Add the flour a little at a time and mix with your hands until the mixture forms a rough dough. Do not over-work the dough.

Transfer the dough to a lightly floured surface. Gently knead the dough for 1 or 2 minutes until smooth, adding a little bit more flour, if necessary, to keep it from sticking.

Break off a piece of the dough and roll it back and forth into a rope, about the thickness of your index finger. Cut the rope into 1-inch pieces. Gently roll each piece down a wooden gnocchi board while pressing a small dimple with your finger. The gnocchi should be slightly curved and marked with ridges. This will allow the pillows to hold sauce when served.

Boil the gnocchi in batches in plenty of salted water. The gnocchi are done about 2 minutes after they float to the surface, remove with a slotted spoon, and serve. If not cooking immediately, place the gnocchi in a single layer on a baking pan dusted with flour. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for up to 12 hours.

Note: If the gnocchi start to feather and fall apart in boiling water, you need more flour. If the gnocchi don't float after 2 minutes and are hard, you used too much flour.

Apparently, crackers DO expire!

2010-01-17T17:47:00.000-08:00

Today, I learned something:

Most boxes of crackers have a 'best before' date on the top of the box.

Most of the crackers in my cupboard had a best before date in the early 2008's.

Needless to say, they're no longer in my cupboard.

Actually, there are quite a few things no longer in my cupboard! It's been a LONG time since they'd been cleaned (2008, maybe? :D) and they needed a good going-through.

Will I ever eat the marshmallows that have turned into deadly projectiles? Unlikely. The old box of Minute Rice? Erm, no.

And I certainly didn't realize that I had a box of Lipton Chicken Noodle soup in there that expired in 2007!!!

I guess it's easy to see what we don't miss eating, based on what I we haven't been using. And now, I can actually see everything in there, AND there's room for more!!

Among the remaining items, a few things I'm going to need to figure out something to do with:

-2 bags of cornmeal
-2 1/2 bags of icing sugar
-A multitude of "Hippie" things: - Flax, Bran, Sunflower seeds, etc etc.
-An awful lot of dried apples
-2 bottles of clam juice >.<'
-Several cans of stewed tomatoes

Any ideas? I'm not so keen on just throwing them all in a baking dish and baking at 350 for an hour... :D

Word to the wise...

2010-01-16T09:12:00.000-08:00

Be good to your knees. You really, really need them for everything, and when they hurt, it makes your whole life a lot more difficult.

And I'm saying this from experience. *wince*

Day 366 ~ Another year begun.

2010-01-12T21:40:00.000-08:00

Today is the beginning of a new year for me - a new year of becoming a healthier me.

On this sort of occasion, people seem to like to look back and wax poetic about what the past year has brought, and I thought I might do a little of that, if you all will indulge me?

Things that Chantel has learned in the past year:

- Thank God for Anti-Depressents.
- Most recipes call for WAY more oil than is really needed.
- Salad can be tasty!
- Sometimes, if you let people try to do their own thing, they can really surprise you, in a good way!
- Homemade bagels, pasta, and bread are WAY better!
- "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" is a stupid thing to say.
- There are incredible, supportive people out there, if you let them be there for you.
- Cheese? Worth the points.
- Chocolate? Worth the points.
- Chicken wings? Not at all. *edit - for me*
- Speaking of chicken wings - When you lose weight, your arms get all flappy...
- How to drive, and the incredible sense of freedom that can bring.
- Hunger is NOT an emergency.
- How to make real, and really delicious, hot chocolate.
- 8 oz of meat is NOT a necessity at every supper.
- Protein + Carbs = More filling.
- Tofu is not the enemy!!
- Camping in a tent can be SO liberating!
- Camping in a tent can be cold and miserable.
- Sometimes, if people want to loan you their lovely, heated trailer, "Yes" is a good answer.
- Patience, compassion, and a sense of humour are three very top-of-the-list things in a good husband.
- Being hot doesn't hurt either...
- I have a very, VERY good husband.
- That being said...

I am enough, in and of myself. I am all I need for my own emotional well-being. I am stronger than I thought, and more persistant than I gave myself credit for. I am kind and compassionate for others, and I can be for myself as well! It's allowed!!

What do I want for this coming year? Well, I guess I'd like to see a 2 as the beginning number of my weight, which will be an incredible thing. I'd also like to fit into a size 22 pant, since that will mean that I can buy pants where I live.

But really, I want to keep going with what I'm doing right now. I'm living a normal, good life, where food isn't the center of my attention. I'm active and getting more so. I am so content, and joyful, and it is very good.

Here's to another year of points-tracking, portion counting, and fulfillment.

One Year

2010-01-11T22:47:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, January 12th, 2010, will be the one year anniversary of the day I rejoined Weight Watchers.

Wow...

IMMD

2010-01-10T00:09:00.000-08:00

(for those of you who don't get the IMMD reference, check out It Made My Day)

Today, I ate sushi with chopsticks that looked like lightsabers. I was Darth Vader, and Chris was Luke Skywalker.

IMMD

(PS. If you're ever looking for a present for me, Thinkgeek would be a great place to start!)

(PPS. Why would you want to buy me gifts? Because I'm fabulous, of course!)

It's good to have choices!

2010-01-07T12:42:00.000-08:00

"It's lunch time on the farm. The animals are very hungry - But where is Farmer Brown?"

It's wonderful to have options when it comes to meals out. Today's lunch comes from our cafeteria.

Today's special? Turkey Lasagna (Mmm, and nice and healthy!) with...

Uh oh! Caesar Salad and Garlic Bread?

Don't panic! You can always... SUBSTITUTE!

So instead of caesar salad, I asked for green salad, and topped it with Kraft Calorie Wise Zesty Italian (5 calories per tbsp! Wow!) and instead of garlic toast, I had a slice of their homemade, whole-wheat bread, nothing on it. A delicious lunch, for WAY fewer calories than the original!

Top that off with a slice of nice banana bread (instead of the butter tart I'd been eyeing up) and a Diet Pepsi, and I feel VERY good about myself!

Add that to the Jogging I did last night (6 minutes, yay!) and weight lifting (small weights, to help tone my arms) and I feel like I'm in a GREAT place here!

Welcome to a new decade!

2010-01-06T16:09:00.000-08:00

Hi there! Remember me? I'm that person who writes this thing...

Is supposed to be writing this blog, at any rate! Sorry for the lapse, oh Ever-So-Cool people who read my Blog!

Christmas was fabulous, other than the lovely colds that Santa dropped off for Chris and me! We spent lots of nice time at home, relaxing, and it was wonderful. I got lots of nice presents (I'm so lucky!) and, I think, gave people some things that they really wanted.

I took about 3 weeks off of WW, though, and ate. It was delicious, and totally worth all of the 7.5 lbs I put back on. Yup, 7.5 lbs. Do I mind that I gained some weight? Not a single bit!!! I had a wonderful time, and I'm back on plan now. If I'm going to be healthy for life, part of that is realizing that real life has times of feast, and times of calm. There are holidays, and vacations, and you eat! We all eat! Food is for enjoying!!

But speaking of Weight Watchers, I had one of the most humbling (in a good way) experiences of my life recently:

My aunt recently got Lifetime!! She looks amazing, and she has worked SO hard!! When she got lifetime, she asked me to be her guest, to come to the meeting with her and be there for her. It was such an honour for her to ask that...

But then, she had been talking to her Leader about me, and her Leader asked if *I* would get up and speak at the meeting!!! About how I'm doing this, what changed, etc... I just talked briefly - Maybe 3 minutes (correct me if I'm wrong - I could have TOTALLY been blathering on, lol!), but they clapped at the end... I could feel all the pride in the room.

And then the leader said that, as a guest speaker, I should at least get some swag... And she gave me the 10% keychain, and a 100 lb "washer" thingummy - apparently the first one they've ever given out in Whitehorse!!

It was amazing, and kind of surreal... I had people come up afterwards and shake my hand, and one wonderful lady (Blueberry Picker, whose real name escapes me right now - I'm so sorry!!) who even said that she read my blog!!

I am so humbled, and touched... These are the kinds of life-experiences you just can't measure with any available scale, or pay for with money...

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

2009-12-21T16:04:00.000-08:00

And by 'most wonderful time of the year', I of course mean...

Christmas Cookie Baking Season!!

What other time of the year do you have liberty to bake with wild abandon, spending days mixing and rolling and baking and decorating and, of course...

Eating cookies? :-D

I started off this year's baking with something not really baked, but truly wonderful...

Pistachio-Cranberry Chocolate Bark!

Take a bunch of pistachios, basically as many as you feel like shelling, and try to rub most of the extra paper/husk stuff off them. Melt one large gold-wrapped Lindt dark chocolate bar, and one lindt milk-chocolate bar together in the microwave (in a bowl, preferably), going 30 seconds at a time and stirring after each interval, so as not to burn the chocolate. To the chocolate, add the pistachios and a small bag of craisins. Spread the mixture on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Chill in the fridge until set, and then break it up into bite sized pieces (the size of which will depend on the size of your mouth, of course!). Store in the fridge, in an air-tight container.

Next were candy-cane cookies, taken from a magazine I happened to have bought. The original recipe called for the red stripe to be cinnamon, with, well, cinnamon, and broken up red-hots. I changed that to peppermint, using peppermint extract and crushed candy canes. My wonderful DH did the honours of the twisting and baking, as I was out spending time with TundraMunkie, who is totally awesome!

Finally, so far, thumbprint cookies!

There is something intensely charming about thumbprint cookies. I guess that start with their simplicity - so few ingredients. It takes hardly any time to turn out a batch... Next, I guess, is how much fun it is to roll them, and dredge them. And then, of course, making the thumbprints... It has to be your thumb... I've tried other fingers, and it just isn't the same!

My mom has made similar cookies for Christmas, but they're called 'Swedish tea rings'... I'm assuming because they call for icing in the thumbprint, and not jam. My personal favorite is raspberry jam...

Coming up next, shortbread. I looked all over town for a cookie press, and apparently I'm not the only one who had that idea, as they were all sold out. I guess I was just the SLOWEST one with that idea!

I'm going to try a rectangular pan, making shortbread fingers...

Here's to hoping they turn out!

Laying down the law.

2009-12-11T11:21:00.000-08:00

This isn't a post about weight loss.

This is a post about something MUCH more serious...

Wrapping paper.

This time of year, wrapping paper is everywhere. On my table, in bags, in scraps on the floor, wrapped around gifts... And there are a few things that drive me a little crazy.

I'm not aiming this at anyone in particular *ahem*, but I'm laying down a few ground rules. If these rules are not followed, much nagging will ensue, and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT! *grump grump grump*

Rule #1 -

Use a knife to cut the wrapping paper, not scissors! Cutting wrapping paper with scissors leave it all jagged and sad looking... Noone wants to see that on their present OR on the roll!! Fold the wrapping paper to the length you want it, and then use a sharp knife to cut along the fold. It's quicker, neater, and DOESN'T MAKE ME CRAZY!

*koff*

Rule #2 -

Don't cut chunks out of the wrapping paper, leaving the rest of that section still attached. Cut off the entire width of the paper, and then fold the detached piece, and cut that down to size, using the technique explained in rule #1. Any remainders can be rolled around the roll of wrapping paper. Really, this is just being courteous: what if the next person needs the entire width of the wrapping paper to go around their present, and you've cut (with scissors, of course) a chunk of paper 1/3 of the width? Then I, erm, that person would have to cut all THAT off first, before they could even start on their gift! Tsk tsk!

Rule #3 -

Yes, I know that paper flapping in the wind is annoying, but please, DON'T tape the roll shut! You've just wasted a bunch of paper, because as soon as you take the tape off, the top layer of paper is coming with it. If you need to, find a ribbon and tie around the roll, or an elastic band...

See? Only 3 (three) very SIMPLE, very intuitive rules. This isn't rocket science, folks! (And you know who you are!) I'm not such a bad person!

.....

right?

Whoa! I got an award!!!

2009-12-07T11:58:00.000-08:00

IT'S TIME FOR THE SUPERIOR SCRIBBLER AWARDS!!!

These are the rules:

- Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass the award on to five most deserving bloggers.

-Each Superior Scribbler must line to the author and the name of the blog from whom s/he has received the award.

-Each Superior Scribbler must display on his/her blog, and like to the Scholastic Scribe, which explains the award.

-Each blogger who wins the Superior Scribbler award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. linky list. That way, they'll be able to keep up to date on everyone who receives this prestigious honour.

- Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Firstly, I got this award from Sadie, who is such a wonderful, strong, fantastic, funny, cute woman. It's a huge honour to get an award from her!!

And, in no particular order, my five awardees!!

1) Annika, or TundraMunkie, who lives even FURTHER north than me! She is hilarious, although maybe that's caused by living in the North? (heehee) PLUS She was an Olympic torch bearer, which is the COOLEST thing ever!

(I need NEED to find a better way to EMPHASIZE things than by CAPITALIZING them!)

2) Syl, who has probably received this award dozens of times so far! Her blog is so inspiring to read, and she is SO upbeat! Plus, she's probably my most frequent commenter, which I adore. :D

3) Amy, who looks AMAZING! (see what I mean about the capitalization?! Any suggestions?!) You should check out her before picture, and the pictures of her now. Holy Hottie, Batman!!

4) CDBlueberry, who is a fellow member of the 200+ board. Other than just the whole 'stalking each other across the country' thing, I also feel like she knows what I've had to go through, fighting with the extra 2 of me that I've had to carry around. She's doing amazingly well, but I know that when you get this big, every day can be a big struggle. (Check her out, peeps!)

And finally, since I'm only supposed to pick 5...

5) Sephgirl, who is SUCH an inspiration!! She has worked SO hard, and you can really see the results!!

Post #200!!

2009-12-03T23:18:00.000-08:00

There is nothing quite as nice as when your fingers smell of pungeant garlic, and the piney resin of rosemary... It's such a comforting, homey smell.

It's strange to think that a lot of people think that being on a 'diet' means being deprived. Certainly, there are a lot of things that get cut out of one's lifestyle choices, but somehow, I just can't bring myself to feel 'deprived' when I'm eating homemade pasta with roasted veggies and asiago cheese. It's delicious, and filling, and makes you feel healthy and happy.

Food can be such a force for good, when you develop a healthy working relationship... It can nourish your body and your spirit and your relationships. It can bring people closer together, and create a space of peace and tranquility in the middle of hectic lives.

I started this blog because I love food, and I love cooking. Now, 100 lbs later, I still love food, and I still love cooking. Tonight's supper reminded me of that, once again.

(Oh, and by the way... I got the iPod on tuesday, and it was worth the wait!!)

Dear Chris - Happy 4 years!

2009-12-01T07:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Chris:

Is it 4 years already? It's so hard to believe that we're still so young, and yet we've been together for such a large percentage of our lives so far... And you know what?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

It is my honour to be your wife... To share in your joys and your frustrations. To be there when you have triumphs, and to lift you back up when the outside world disappoints.

Marriage hasn't always been easy so far - You've gone through so much with me. You've been my pillar and my comforter through some very deep depression, and you continued to be my wonderful husband when the only way I could feel relief was to eat my way out of the dark hole in my mind. You've stood with me when I couldn't keep up my end of the deal, to be your support... When I couldn't show you how much I loved you, or how hard I was trying to get better...

And here we are, at the 4 year mark. I'm a recovering Binge eater, my depression is under control, and I'm getting healthier every day... And I know, because you make sure I know, how thrilled you are that I'm bringing my life so far forward. I couldn't do this without you...

All I want in this world is to fall asleep next to you every night, and wake up next to you every morning, and rest my head on your shoulder while we watch movies, and laugh in the kitchen as we get covered in flour from baking, and grumble with you about stressful work days, and drive around the Country with you, and go for coffee with you, and listen to you talk...

I'm so, so lucky to be your wife. I know that God was smiling the day he introduced us (Through Amy... Mysterious ways, eh?). I know I wasn't what you were expecting, or even anything you'd ever thought of, but I'm so glad you decided to let yourself see where this went, because I know that I'm now able to better be the wife you deserve.

I love you, Chris, and I always will.

Thank you so much for choosing me.

Chantel

Spruce Bog - 1 year later

2009-11-30T23:03:00.000-08:00

Not long into WeightWatchers, this time around, I decided on my "Before" picture: The picture of myself from Spruce Bog, a craft show.

Approx 451 lbs.

And this year, I did the spruce bog again. And again, I had a picture taken of myself...

Having just passed the 100 lbs lost mark.

Wow... When I look in the mirror, I don't see THIS difference!!! I'm so glad to have a 'before' photo to compare myself to!!

Still stalking...

2009-11-24T20:21:00.000-08:00

Where arrrrrre you?! I waaaaant you!!!

I'm still stalking my iPod, which has apparently gone on vacation in Calgary!

Is the weather nice there? I hope that it's at least having a good time!!

UPS has recommended that I get the seller (Apple) to initiate a shipping investigation or some such thing, but Apple won't start that until the item has been missing for 3 days.

THREE DAYS?!

I will diiiiiiiiiiiieeee of anticipatory frustration by then!!!

*collapses in a heap on the floor, all twitchy*

No iPod yet...

2009-11-23T21:28:00.000-08:00

I am not a very patient person... I'd like to pretend that I could someday be, but I'm not. When there's something I want, that I'm going to be getting, I want it NOW!!

My iPod was, according to UPS, supposed to get here today. There is no iPod here... I don't even have a slip telling me where to pick it up! :(

I hope that soon, I'll have a picture of me, holding an iPod, so I can show off my reward for losing all this weight, and also the iPod!!

How many times do I think I checked the parcel tracking today?

More times than I could count on BOTH hands!!

Annnnnnnnnd... It's OFFICIAL!

2009-11-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

I lost 4 lbs this week, bringing me to:

103.6 pounds lost!

Also, at 347.4, I'm now out of the 350's!!

My BMI has gone from 69 to 53!

My daily points allowance has gone from 44 (for the LONGEST time) to 41!

My pants size has gone from a very tight 32 to a comfortable 26!

I still have a long way to go, but I am now just over 1/3 of the way there... Only 196.4 lbs left until I reach goal!!!

In all seriousness...

2009-11-19T16:33:00.000-08:00

The wait for Friday? Driving me CRAZY!!! I'm doing everything I can to keep my mind off it, but I want that official number, on the scale, on Friday, in my Weight Tracker. I want to see the star on the little graph, telling me 100 lbs!

Tonight, I'm getting my eyebrows waxed, and a manicure, so that I'll be all purdy on Saturday at the Spruce Bog... But I don't think that'll take my mind off it!

So for now, folks, remember to drink your water, eat your points, and get moving!

*squeak!*

Just sayin'...

2009-11-16T12:21:00.000-08:00

There is an iPod currently on its way to me...

A bright, shiny, orange iPod Nano, with the inscription:

Happiness Depends Upon Ourselves - Aristotle (100)

What is that 100 for?

I think you can guess... ^.~ ♥ ♥ ♥

(Nothing is official, however, as WI day isn't until friday!)

I'm sorry... I had to...

2009-11-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

Look... It's my before picture!!!

(No, this isn't a comment on my having or not having self-esteem. I USED to make jokes about me being Jabba the Hutt, but I don't anymore. I just thought it was funny!!!)

Halloween Chocolate + Chantel = Not-So-Great Choices

2009-11-04T16:55:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'm going to preface this by saying - I am still OP.

But probably 8-10 points of those per day have been little chocolate bars. Man, those things add up quickly!

Should I just get rid of them? Lol! Yes!

Am I going to?

Welllll.... Eventually, I'll have eaten my way through them. :oP Then they'll be gone!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

2009-11-02T20:16:00.000-08:00

Well, it started snowing in earnest here in Whitehorse on Saturday, just in time for the trick or treaters... That means... Shovelling snow!

And what does shovelling snow mean?

ACTIVITY POINTS!!

I've now earned 17 activity points in the last 3 days, all from shovelling snow!

Granted, I don't necessarily want to keep that pace up, but it's a great way to burn some calories. It's a LOT easier this year, and I actually really enjoy the workout, and the fresh air. I'm sure that at minus 40, the air will be just a bit too fresh for my tastes, but for now, it's very invigorating!

And more AP's means more hot chocolate for Chantel!!!

Speaking of...

The REAL DEAL hot chocolate

3/4 cup water
1 1/2 oz dark chocolate
2 tbsp sugar
tiny pinch of salt
1 1/2 milk, 1%

Heat water and chocolate over medium heat, stirring constantly until the chocolate is completely melted and mixed in. Add in sugar and salt, and turn the heat up to high. Bring the mixture to boiling, and boil for 4 minutes. Turn heat down to medium-low.

Add milk, and stir to combine. Simmer until heated through, but don't let it boil or it'll get a skin.

You can drink it as is, or use a frother to, well, froth it!

Serves 2 @ 5 points per serving. (It's worth it... SOOO good)

Not weight-loss related... Well, sort-of...

2009-11-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm speaking at a workshop for crafters who are looking at beginning to sell their crafts. I'm guessing you all know, but if you don't, I'm an avid beadworker. I've been selling my goods for a few years, but I've also taught classes, and worked in a bead store.

I'm really excited to have been asked to do this!

And the best part...?

I know how much easier this will be this year, than it would have been last year. Firstly, I feel a LOT less insecure this year than I did last year, but also... I don't have to worry so much about fitting into chairs with arms. I can stand up and talk, and not run out of breath. I'm less concerned that people are looking at my fat and not listening to what I have to say.

I'm actually really excited about this, and not worried! I know my subject matter, and I'm a really good speaker when I'm talking about things I'm passionate about. Plus, what they want to know about is my experiences, and really, that's a subject matter I know pretty thoroughly!

By popular demand... The recipe for STIR FRY A LA SCARY TOFU!!

2009-10-31T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yup, I'm going to post it! Be afraid... Be very afraid!!

Tofu portion:

1/2 block extra firm tofu, cut into your desired shape
2 1/2 tbsp soya sauce
2 tbsp brown sugar (not packed)
1 tbsp sweet chili sauce
2 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp grated fresh ginger

Once you've cut up the tofu, set it onto some paper towel, and press it dry with more paper towel on top. (could you understand that sentence?) Leave the tofu on the paper towel while you measure the rest of the ingredients into a bowl or, for fewer dishes to clean up afterwards, a freezer bag, and mix them. (This is fun with the freezer bag... You can just smush them around!) Add the tofu into the sauce, and toss to coat. Let this marinate for a while... I left mine for just under 24 hours, but you could probably just do a couple of hours. It's pretty easy to do this the night before, though.

STIR-FRY A LA SCARY TOFUUUU!!!

Tofu prepared earlier
1 package of Udon Noodles (See the pictures in my 'picture' post for the brand... You can find them at most grocery stores, I think)
4 tsp of canola oil
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp sweet chili sauce
2 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp grated fresh ginger
2 cups of frozen mixed veggies, stir-fry or thai or chinese... Whatever you like
2 cup of bean sprouts

Place your frozen veggies in a Ziploc Steamer bag, and steam them for a little less time than the bag's instructions say.

Put the udon noodles in a bowl, and cover with boiling water.

Heat the wok over medium-high heat, and put 2 tsp of oil in the pan. Take the tofu out of the sauce (sauce + hot oil = ouch) and saute until golden brown. Turn, and do the same thing on the other side.

Add 1 tsp of oil, and the garlic, ginger, sweet chili sauce, soy sauce, and brown sugar to the pan, and then add the steamed veggies. Saute until heated through. Add the bean sprouts and saute until tender-crisp.

Remove the tofu/veggie mix from the pan, and put in the remaining 1 tsp of oil. Drain the udon noodles and add to the pan, sauteing until heated through. If you'd like, you can add some of the tofu marinade in, so that the udon noodles absorb some of the saucy goodness.

Plate the noodles, and top with the tofu/veggie mix.

Serves 2-3. (I calculated out 9 points each for 2 servings, but that's probably high, since I didn't use all the tofu marinade)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

Ponderings on the Flu

2009-10-30T23:31:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how good an excuse the Flu is to lay in bed all day. Of course, when you have the flu, you'd rather be doing anything else, but you just... can't... work... up... *yaaaaaaaawn* the energy.

Red Nyquil is much nicer tasting than Green Nyquil. I'm not entirely sure about the 'improved flavour' of the Red Nyquil though... I rather think that they slap that label on there and hope that people will be dazzled by it, and not actually realize that the flavour is exactly the same.

A 1.5 litre bottle of water keeps you hydrated, and saves you many draining trips to get water refills.

Worried relatives call when you're napping/passed out.

You will rarely feel sillier than you do when forced to wear a 'pandemic-containing' mask in public, even if it's just at a flu clinic. However, it makes for great bonding with the other 'pandemic-containing' mask-wearing patients.

Not eating all day, and then overeating when you're finally hungry, does not make you feel any better.

It's amazing how many ways you can lay on the same bed!!

The same blanket will go from not nearly enough warmth, to boiling you alive, in about 30 seconds. And then back again.

Staying home from work gives you a lot of time to ponder all the silly nuances of being sick with the flu...

hack cough

2009-10-29T14:51:00.001-07:00

Well, my weight-loss efforts have been somewhat sidelined for a couple of days, as I focus my efforts on getting over the flu...

So much fun!

Tofu?! Am I going to turn into some kind of hippy...?!

2009-10-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

The Ingredients for STIR-FRY A LA SCARY TOFU!! Note the Tofu on the bottom left, marinating its way to its DOOM!

The Tofu, sautéing in some oil... I seem to remember cringing a lot at this stage...

After turning the tofu. My fears were somewhat lessened, after seeing the lovely golden colour they'd taken on... They were a PAIN to turn though, as they were a bit squishy, and seemed to have a mind of their own.

With some frozen veggies. I pre-steamed these in a microwave steamer bag, so as to not add frozen veggies to a hot, oily pan.

I LOVE bean sprouts in stir-fry!!

I removed the stir-fry from the pan, and sautéed the Udon noodles for a little while until they were hot through. Udon noodles are delicious, and you get a LOT of them, for a little bit of points.

Stir-fry a la SCARY TOFU!!! On a plate, as you can see... Not many more steps between that and in my mouth..

A close-up shot... I really do like all those colours together! I still think that the tofu looks disturbingly like chicken breast strips though...

So, I ate tofu. I did it...

Honestly, I thought it was GREAT!! I loved the flavor, and the texture... DH wasn't such a big fan, but I think that part of that was that, if he's determined not to like something, he won't like it no matter HOW good it is!

The tofu took the flavor really, really well, and after that supper, I was full ALL night!

Now to decide what to do with the other half-block of tofu in my fridge... MWAHAHAAAHAHAAHAAA!!

*koff*

Tiny update...

2009-10-23T10:05:00.001-07:00

Down 4.1 lbs to 95.8 lbs lost in total!!

That's all. :)

Pre-Halloween Scary Story

2009-10-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

Right now, as I write this...

There is an unspeakable horror lurking in my fridge.

It is the stuff of my nightmares, and the thought of it fills me with terror...

Is it leftovers, back from the grave?!

No... It's.............

TOFU!!!!

*SCREAMMMM*

Yeah, yeah, I know... A little bit melodramatic, are we? But this is my first time cooking tofu, and I'm incredibly nervous. The only other experience I've had with tofu was a bad one, eating unseasoned grilled tofu as a child at a friend's house. (Believe me, I didn't go back to that house for a meal!!) And it's taken me about 15 years to get over the slight nausea I feel at the thought of tofu, enough to let it in my house.

I'd like to eat more 'meat-free' meals, but with DH trying to get toned, and add a little more muscle, making sure he gets lots of protein is important...

Plus, I wanted to try something adventurous!!

So right now, in my fridge, there is half a block of extra-firm tofu, cut into strips (looks like chicken, which kind of disturbs me...) and marinating in a mixture of soy sauce, brown sugar, fresh ginger, garlic, and a little big of sweet chili sauce... It smells like ginger beef, which is one of our favorite take-out foods, so that bodes well for us actually eating it...

There will be blogging tomorrow about the results, and hopefully (if I remember) some pictures!!

Alright, we need to move on now... There are some kids here saying they had this spot booked for some kind of... Blair Witch Project?!

Whatever... :p

Blogging is HARD! Whine Whine

2009-10-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

I know that I haven't blogged in a while, but I feel like I've just had nothing to blog ABOUT! My life has been pretty steady lately...

Thanksgiving really threw me for a loop, especially as I was in a lot of pain for the weekend, and into the week. I've now got a prescription for Percocet for the pain... It doesn't really make the pain much better, but I'm too darn tired to care!

I've been working on my beadwork for the Spruce Bog (November 21st) and the Cranberry Fair (November 29th). Previous years, I've been working up to about 3am of the morning of the show, getting only a couple of hours of sleep before a very, VERY busy day of selling and schmoozing and setting up and taking down... This year, my goal is to be done the 'making' portion of the sale a week before the actual sale, so I can get all the other parts done early too, and get a good sleep the night before.

Weight loss wise... Well, I gained a couple of pounds on my last Weigh-In, because I didn't track at all from Thanksgiving Monday to the Thursday after. I was simply in too much pain to care, and I'm okay with that. I know why it happened, and I'm compassionate with myself. I'm back on plan now, though, and it feels GREAT! I'm also trying to up my water intake again, because I feel like I just haven't been drinking enough. It's so, SO dry up here in the wintertime, and I need to take that into account, and guzzle back the water!!

The days are getting shorter up here, and I can really feel that affecting my energy level. I'm not getting depressed, fortunately, but I'll definitely be monitoring myself more actively... I got so much sun in the summertime, and it felt SO good... On the weekends, we'll be trying to get out and get some sunshine, but on weekdays, when it's dark when you leave for work, and dark when you go home, it's hard to find the time to get your vitamin D...

This past weekend I made myself really proud... DH and I decided to go for a walk, so we went to the airport, where there's a lovely walking trail around the large airstrip, which is connected to downtown by a set of stairs called the "Black Street Stairs"...

(Note: That isn't my picture... I'm going to change it when I have the chance. And there wasn't snow on the ground when I went...)

213 steps, not including the landings. I stood at the top of it and thought, "I can either do this the quick and hard way, or I can keep walking around the airport for the long, easy way... Which would I be more proud of myself for?"

So I did the stairs!

(Note: According to the Tourism Canada site, they're called the Puckett’s Gulch Staircase...?! I've never heard that before!)

Next time, I'm bringing water!!

I hope everyone out there in blog land is doing really well!!

(Only 8.3 lbs more until I get my 100 lbs, and my new iPod!!)

A few pictures, care of my beautiful friend Amber

2009-10-12T13:52:00.000-07:00

Apple pie, with a side of cussing...

2009-10-12T13:04:00.000-07:00

That was my night last night, making pies... I started at about 6pm, and the second pie came out of the oven at (Oh God) almost 2am... Why so long?

Apparently, low humidity doesn't make for an easy pie-making first time. I followed the recipe, I really did! And after leaving the dough in the fridge so it could hydrate, I came out with... crumbles. So after hydrating the doughs 3 and 4 times respectively, I finally ended up with actual pies, but they aren't so pretty... :-S

But they're done, darnit! And I'll know for next time (will there be a next time?!)

Kudos to my poor husband, who had to put up with a very annoyed Chantel all of last evening...

Mantra for the day

2009-10-10T18:32:00.001-07:00

*no more hershey kisses*

Oh! Chris took them out of the room? Phew!

No more hershey kisses!

ahem

2009-10-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

So, I just told off someone I've known for a long time, and then unfriended them on facebook.

Do I feel badly about it?

HELL NO!

This person... He used me as an emotional crutch. He would come around only when he was feeling crappy, and would get mad if I said ANYthing about myself because he was busy telling me what a wreck he was.

He would never be happy when he talked with me, unless he was drunk.

Why did I put up with him for so long?

God, I don't know.

But I'm done putting up with his melodrama, and his wallowing. He needs to get help, and I told him such (in a nice way! I promise!)

(And then maybe in a not-so-nice way when he went off on me for suggesting that he might want to talk to someone...)

Anywho, I just needed to put this out there. I feel really strong right now.

Life, the Universe and Everything... I have the answer!

2009-10-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

And that answer is 42!

Well, actually, that's the number of points I now get to eat per day... I went down one!

I've been stuck in the 360's for a while now. Months, actually! And today, after this week where I went 14 over my total points allowance (Flex and activity included), I lost...

3.4 lbs!!!

Bringing my weight loss total to 94.1 lbs since January 12th.

Bringing my BMI down another point to 54, from 69 on January 12th.

Leaving me only 5.9 pounds to power through before I hit my goal of losing 100 lbs this year!! Can you believe it?!

I can't!

Not only that, but this is post #175 on my blog! That is an AWFUL lot of posting, don'tcha think? I think we're ALL amazed that I haven't run out of things to say by now!

Thank you, all you readers, for being with me through all these pounds... I'm so excited to have you guys along for the ride!! I can hardly wait to bring you more milestones in my life!!

Who are you, and what have you done with Chantel?!

2009-10-04T12:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I bought new walking/hiking shoes.

Well, when you buy new shoes, you really do need to break them in, yes?

I suppose I could have just gone for a stroll, meandered around, but we had just bought a book about hiking and biking in the Whitehorse area, and I SO wanted to try one of the trails, so I picked the first one in the book.

Easy, it said.

Perfect, I thought!

1 1/2 hours of real HIKING later, including at least 10 minutes of breathless up-up-up hill climbing, we got back to the car, and I realized... I just did that! That was me, hiking, climbing, enjoying herself!

That was ME, earning 14 activity points in one day!

The old me would have stopped at the first hill, even when I was previously 360 lbs. The old me would have said, "no way! Too hard! Not worth it! I can't do it! It'll hurt! I'll be humiliated!"

It's amazing, how much healthier I am now than I really have ever been before. I may still be VERY heavy, but I haven't been this active since I was a kid!

Was it hard? Yes. My ankles were sore, and my hip joints were sore, and my knees said, "what're you doing?!"

Was it worth it? YES!!! It was SO much fun!! I hope we get the chance to do more hiking before it gets too cold!

I'm so grateful to my wonderful husband for being so patient with me... He's so active, and I've been such a bump on a log... Though I think he's now reaping the rewards of his patience!!

Kame-Sama?

2009-10-02T22:43:00.000-07:00

I e-mailed you, but maybe not to the right addy?

E-mail me? :D I know you're reading this!!

I miss you, Kame-Sama!!

Another Milestone Day in the North!

2009-10-02T11:02:00.000-07:00

It's Weigh-In day in the North, and the animals are very hungry...

Wait.

Wrong book, sorry!

It's Weigh-In day in the North, and Chantel is now down 90.7 lbs, meaning that she has lost juuuuuuuust over 20% of her initial body weight!

20%!! That means that I'm now 4/5ths of myself! I find that absolutely incredible, personally.

And to reach my 100 lb goal by the end of the year, I actually have to lose less than a pound a week! That is exciting, exciting news to me!

It's wonderful, all the changes that I've gone through in the last 9 1/2 months...

Down 3 pants sizes (from a 32 to a 26!), and my BMI has gone from 69 to 55. I think a BMI of 69 is pretty much "spontaneous death" territory.

Onwards and Downwards!